[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Willdots

    Author: crazy_83
    ASL Info:    28/f/mo
    Elite Ratio:    1.99 - 27/29/18
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 714
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 633


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Willdots

    Lost and alone
    yet finding my way
    saying goodbye to a life
    where Im not meant to stay

    This place kills me
    it breaks my soul
    my life has no meaning now
    but I will take control!

    I will leave behind the heartache
    I will leave behind the pain
    I will live for the truth
    and start bettering my name

    I have hurt and been hurt too
    but that will all change
    I will overcome
    and fight to regain

    God grant me the will
    to be strong and stay true
    I know you will
    my faith is in you

    Submitted on 2007-01-21 06:28:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this piece ... I can somewhat relate to it with what I have been through in my life. Good luck on your gaining control from whatever problem you have been through and Im lookin forward to reading more of your poetry.
    | Posted on 2007-01-22 00:00:00 | by black- tears | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah! I love this, it's magnificent!

    I especially enjoyed how you began with a sense of dispair, then moved to why, and then switched to being hopeful and ready to take control. It's a perfect story, it only leave the reader questioning specifics...but the whole story is there. Well done.

    The first three stanzas spoke to the reader, and to the world; then the last two stanzas the focus switched, to yourself. This just enhanced the poem and it's meaing so much.

    The last stanza was just so powerful, but so simply put.

    "God grant me the will
    to be strong and stay true
    I know you will
    my faith is in you"

    It's almost a prayer within the poem, almost a seperate poem it self.

    I enjoyed this very much, and I wish you the best of luck in your walk to take control...God will give you the will to stay strong and true.

    -x miazk

    | Posted on 2007-01-22 00:00:00 | by Isolde xx | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good! It has great structure, and it tells a story of hope and promice! Well done!
    | Posted on 2007-01-21 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]