Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: We Live To Diedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 806
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1036



    Description:
       ... Sigh.. we live to die. that should say it all


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWe Live To Diedots
    -------------------------------------------


    We are born
    To live.
    We are born
    To make something out of this life.
    Out of what has been given to us.
    Yet I have to question
    What is the point of out exstance?
    When in the end the majority of us will not matter?
    We will leave this earth just for our hard times to be forgotten.
    We are granted the privilege to live
    To have lungs full of oxygen
    And what we do with this life
    Itís up to us
    So may I ask... what do we do when
    Such a greatfull gift I have described to you
    Is taken away?
    By a Cancer
    By Violence
    By Old Age
    What shall my love ones do?
    This wonderful gift "life"
    Itís now when the oxygen is nonexistent in my grandmother's lungs...
    For her time as come
    There are no more good times..
    Bad times..
    Her time has came and went
    Nevertheless.... she remains in my hart!

    Grandma
    RIP: Oct 1924-Jan 2007




    Submitted on 2007-01-21 23:54:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i really liked what you were saying. i noticed one typo, but other than that it was good. you could word it differently in some places to make it flow better but it was good anyway

    crazy
    | Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by crazyinsane | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the idea of it, but this was very straight forward and didn't flow very well. I like what you're saying, but how you said it could use some revisiting.
    | Posted on 2007-01-22 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    132808

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by ShyOne
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    The World written by jjd
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Carry written by saartha
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Relativity written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry