[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: You Have Stolen My Heartdots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1460
    Average Vote:    2.0000
    Bytes: 805

       Just a sweet, stereotypical little love poem

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou Have Stolen My Heartdots

    You've stolen my heart
    There are just no other words to say
    I dream about you every night
    And think about you every day.
    Your eyes have bespelled my mind
    Your hands have touched my soul
    Your smile speaks of things to come
    That only you and I can know
    Your skin is electric to the touch
    The brush of your lips as a feather
    The light in your eyes assures me
    That we were meant to be together
    It seems that I belong in your arms
    There's no other place I'd rather be
    Your eyelashes flutter across my skin
    Your hands have set me free
    I knew that you made all the difference,
    I knew it from the start
    I drift off to sleep in your embrace
    You have stolen my heart.

    Submitted on 2007-01-22 17:33:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is incredibly sweet and yet mature-ish... it isnt immersed in sex or any of the other stereotypical themes in love poems... it really is very beautiful...

    sweet as candy melting on your tongue in july.

    this is probobly my favorite part, but it was hard to choose because of how spiffy it all was
    "Your skin is electric to the touch
    The brush of your lips as a feather
    The light in your eyes assures me
    That we were meant to be together"

    | Posted on 2007-03-07 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, despite the fact it is a very common subject. Such poems are special to the author and it is the author who makes the common poem unique. Anybody who is thrilled by love in their lives would be ecstatic to read this. Good job!

    | Posted on 2007-02-19 00:00:00 | by just an angel | [ Reply to This ]
      It is stereotypical, but...it still has some good lines. I think it's very sweet
    | Posted on 2007-02-18 00:00:00 | by blue_pixie_dust | [ Reply to This ]
      As the description states, the poem is about a very sterotyped feeling a someone stealing another's heart. The reason that I feel this is better than the bland normal lost love poem has to do with the inclusion of the sensory detail. Images, feelings, and textures can easily be felt in this poem. Even overly sterotyped, this idea works well in this case. Good write.
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by Mykquillion | [ Reply to This ]
    I donít think it is mushy, It is just simple. I think the simplicity really does work here. You havenít chosen difficult words or a special rhyme scheme. I think Poetry it not only about big rhyme schemes, it should come from your heart and this one definitely does that.

    I like it well, good job
    With love Sanam
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]
      Definitely stereotypical.
    I strongly suggest that you make an offer to a greeting card or whatever company for a card. It's G rated, mushy, and simple.

    I don't mean that in a mean way.
    "Your eyelashes flutter across my skin"
    I like that line if only because I can feel it and I like how that feels.

    "Your eyes have bespelled my mind"
    The "bespelled" part reads oddly to me. It's not necessarily out of place, but I think it should be a one syllable word. Personal preference.

    I can't dislike it, nor can I find it spectacular. I doubt you do either. So it works out.
    | Posted on 2007-01-22 00:00:00 | by Sir Jimeth | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Summer written by layDsayD
    To written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Push written by JanePlane
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    This written by Chelebel
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]