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    dots Submission Name: Summer Spelldots

    Author: BleedingTears
    ASL Info:    16/f/Neverland
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 418/289/62
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 928
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 561


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSummer Spelldots

    My hands are cold.
    Summer's all over.
    The summer is all gone.
    It's time now to sit by a fire,
    watch it burn,
    into all flames.
    Embers and ashes
    It was set afire.

    My past, my time,
    now dust, and ashes.
    The summer was just a spell,
    cursed upon my heart,
    to fall in love with you,
    and only you.

    But now, the summer is all over.
    The spell has been broken.
    Now everything is in ashes,

    Submitted on 2007-01-22 21:27:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      very simple....i like the idea...but something was not so complete....liked the usage of words in certain parts, specifically the embers and fire...well at least i think it was "embers"

    It's time now to sit by a fire,
    watch it burn,
    into all flames.
    Enders and ashes
    It was set afire.
    | Posted on 2007-11-13 00:00:00 | by iaida | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, it all turned to be just falling in love, nice metaphor, good job, i loved it!

    | Posted on 2007-04-26 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      Great concept of what was once a fire burning (passion, relationship, love) is then transformed into nothing but ash (broken heart, changed feelings). I really enjoyed it
    | Posted on 2007-02-16 00:00:00 | by JAcksonJr | [ Reply to This ]
      i really liked the mellow tone of this piece. it was so calm and yet captivating. it was a relaxing peice of remembrance. we all have those summers of love and loss i'm sure. the way you told of yours was very beautiful.

    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by shayla8911 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this. i dont know what it is...but something in it just speaks to me. this is deffinatley going to my favorites list.
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by kession | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the innocence of this piece, I'm kinda amused by the redundancy. The picky part of me would suggest that you make the piece less redundant, but the other part thinks you should keep it. Maybe you could be more consistent with the phrases you repeat. Make them like a mantra. Just a crazy thought. It's almost 4am, so maybe I'm just sleepy. Anyway, I enjoyed this.

    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]

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