Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Summer Spelldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BleedingTears
    ASL Info:    16/f/Neverland
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 418/289/62
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 868
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 561



    Description:
       dkjfhiuandshgfiaer
    summer<33


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSummer Spelldots
    -------------------------------------------


    My hands are cold.
    Summer's all over.
    The summer is all gone.
    It's time now to sit by a fire,
    watch it burn,
    into all flames.
    Embers and ashes
    It was set afire.

    My past, my time,
    now dust, and ashes.
    The summer was just a spell,
    cursed upon my heart,
    to fall in love with you,
    and only you.

    But now, the summer is all over.
    The spell has been broken.
    Now everything is in ashes,
    Embers,
    Dust,
    Memories.




    Submitted on 2007-01-22 21:27:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      very simple....i like the idea...but something was not so complete....liked the usage of words in certain parts, specifically the embers and fire...well at least i think it was "embers"



    It's time now to sit by a fire,
    watch it burn,
    into all flames.
    Enders and ashes
    It was set afire.
    | Posted on 2007-11-13 00:00:00 | by iaida | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, it all turned to be just falling in love, nice metaphor, good job, i loved it!

    necrotic
    | Posted on 2007-04-26 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      Great concept of what was once a fire burning (passion, relationship, love) is then transformed into nothing but ash (broken heart, changed feelings). I really enjoyed it
    | Posted on 2007-02-16 00:00:00 | by JAcksonJr | [ Reply to This ]
      i really liked the mellow tone of this piece. it was so calm and yet captivating. it was a relaxing peice of remembrance. we all have those summers of love and loss i'm sure. the way you told of yours was very beautiful.

    shay
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by shayla8911 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this. i dont know what it is...but something in it just speaks to me. this is deffinatley going to my favorites list.
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by kession | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the innocence of this piece, I'm kinda amused by the redundancy. The picky part of me would suggest that you make the piece less redundant, but the other part thinks you should keep it. Maybe you could be more consistent with the phrases you repeat. Make them like a mantra. Just a crazy thought. It's almost 4am, so maybe I'm just sleepy. Anyway, I enjoyed this.

    Nicely
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    132886

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fasade written by jackz
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Summer written by layDsayD
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry