Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Perfectiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 793
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 827



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPerfectiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    I close my eyes each night and think only of
    her.
    I open my eyes each day and dream only of
    her.
    I long for her love which I can never know,
    For my mind is imperfect.

    I yearn to see her as she is beloved light.
    I become weak at the tempting sound of her
    voice.
    I ache for her love which I shall never know,
    For my soul is imperfect.

    I live life and suffer every minute without her.
    I feel i have wasted every second without her.
    I die for her love which I must never know,
    For my life is imperfect.

    I speak to my mind and will it forget her.
    I fight my body and force it ignore her.
    I pray for her love which I want only to know,
    For her I must be perfect.





    Submitted on 2007-01-23 09:21:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow...complete genius. Like most of the people before me, you have rendered me speechless. Very nice. Cuts straight to the heart.
    | Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by Keller | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow.... I wonder if this girl knows this..
    | Posted on 2007-06-28 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngelKat | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow... I don't know what to say but I really like this.
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by RayneDownAsh | [ Reply to This ]
      An astonishing write. I mean I have been waiting for a write and finally, here it is!
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by Twisted | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't remember what it is called, but in essence it is rhyming ideas or concepts instead of words. repeating a very simular idea, altered a little in language, to further emphasize it.
    prehaps i have utterly failed to convey what i mean but i recognize you doing it here. What This poem conveys, although deep, is fairly simple. You repeat it with small changes that alter the meaning slightly yet still resemble your previous lines. This is a technique i have not been to succsessful with but you use it nicely here.

    This messege of longing is one that gets repeated a lot for it is something that many people have and do struggle with. I have even read a couple sonnets by Shakespeare that contain this messege. However, despite repitition the messege does not lose quality or importance for it is one that expresses deep personal feelings that great art and poetry are made from.
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by nomad knight | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    132907

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry