[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Perfectiondots

    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 808
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 827


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I close my eyes each night and think only of
    I open my eyes each day and dream only of
    I long for her love which I can never know,
    For my mind is imperfect.

    I yearn to see her as she is beloved light.
    I become weak at the tempting sound of her
    I ache for her love which I shall never know,
    For my soul is imperfect.

    I live life and suffer every minute without her.
    I feel i have wasted every second without her.
    I die for her love which I must never know,
    For my life is imperfect.

    I speak to my mind and will it forget her.
    I fight my body and force it ignore her.
    I pray for her love which I want only to know,
    For her I must be perfect.

    Submitted on 2007-01-23 09:21:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow...complete genius. Like most of the people before me, you have rendered me speechless. Very nice. Cuts straight to the heart.
    | Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by Keller | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow.... I wonder if this girl knows this..
    | Posted on 2007-06-28 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngelKat | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow... I don't know what to say but I really like this.
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by RayneDownAsh | [ Reply to This ]
      An astonishing write. I mean I have been waiting for a write and finally, here it is!
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by Twisted | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't remember what it is called, but in essence it is rhyming ideas or concepts instead of words. repeating a very simular idea, altered a little in language, to further emphasize it.
    prehaps i have utterly failed to convey what i mean but i recognize you doing it here. What This poem conveys, although deep, is fairly simple. You repeat it with small changes that alter the meaning slightly yet still resemble your previous lines. This is a technique i have not been to succsessful with but you use it nicely here.

    This messege of longing is one that gets repeated a lot for it is something that many people have and do struggle with. I have even read a couple sonnets by Shakespeare that contain this messege. However, despite repitition the messege does not lose quality or importance for it is one that expresses deep personal feelings that great art and poetry are made from.
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by nomad knight | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The World written by jjd
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Etiquette written by saartha
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    mimicry written by expiring_touch




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]