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    dots Submission Name: Perfectiondots

    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 827


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I close my eyes each night and think only of
    I open my eyes each day and dream only of
    I long for her love which I can never know,
    For my mind is imperfect.

    I yearn to see her as she is beloved light.
    I become weak at the tempting sound of her
    I ache for her love which I shall never know,
    For my soul is imperfect.

    I live life and suffer every minute without her.
    I feel i have wasted every second without her.
    I die for her love which I must never know,
    For my life is imperfect.

    I speak to my mind and will it forget her.
    I fight my body and force it ignore her.
    I pray for her love which I want only to know,
    For her I must be perfect.

    Submitted on 2007-01-23 09:21:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow...complete genius. Like most of the people before me, you have rendered me speechless. Very nice. Cuts straight to the heart.
    | Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by Keller | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow.... I wonder if this girl knows this..
    | Posted on 2007-06-28 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngelKat | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow... I don't know what to say but I really like this.
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by RayneDownAsh | [ Reply to This ]
      An astonishing write. I mean I have been waiting for a write and finally, here it is!
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by Twisted | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't remember what it is called, but in essence it is rhyming ideas or concepts instead of words. repeating a very simular idea, altered a little in language, to further emphasize it.
    prehaps i have utterly failed to convey what i mean but i recognize you doing it here. What This poem conveys, although deep, is fairly simple. You repeat it with small changes that alter the meaning slightly yet still resemble your previous lines. This is a technique i have not been to succsessful with but you use it nicely here.

    This messege of longing is one that gets repeated a lot for it is something that many people have and do struggle with. I have even read a couple sonnets by Shakespeare that contain this messege. However, despite repitition the messege does not lose quality or importance for it is one that expresses deep personal feelings that great art and poetry are made from.
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by nomad knight | [ Reply to This ]

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