Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The Way I Do

Author: Hip-Hop Honey
ASL Info:    16/f/canada
Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 105 /86 /31
Words: 144
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 814
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 819


I wrote this poem for my brother awhile back hope you all like it!..I'll be submitting more when i have time

The Way I Do

To show my love for you
Is a shame
Loving you is like a game...get played along the way
The sound of your voice makes my day
But my longing to see you drives me insane
What to do when you found your way
To my brain
Sit and cry at the sound of your name
Better yet walk around with a bat in hand
To show I'm watch your head
Explain the unknown only to you
I would do
With you comes along my faith
A friend that could never be replaced
Dreams only you know
All you have to do is look in my eyes
Suprised to see loneliness deep inside
What a shame
I miss you everyday
Pray you stay out of harms way
But what are sisters for
Other then to love you the way I do

Submitted on 2007-01-23 15:09:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I dig your poem, I like how you go back and forth between your emotions. So often when we write we focus on one specific feeling and endulge. I like the fact that you go above that and bring lots of different elements in. If you get a chance, check out some of my writings, take care, keep writing....
| Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by StevenJay | [ Reply to This ]
  this is really cute, and it's good that you have such a strong bond with your brother, not many siblings have that :-)
| Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?