[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Don't Ask, Just Waitdots

    Author: just an angel
    ASL Info:    17/F/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.89 - 95/109/59
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 700
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 957


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDon't Ask, Just Waitdots

    I asked for a gift
    My heart cannot take
    I begged for a blessing
    Meant for a good sake

    Yet this gift is a curse
    One I could foretell
    Would be good for sometime
    But end in a bitter farewell

    What we all would do
    For a day of pure bliss
    One that's so quickly gone
    Spent the rest of time to miss

    Is it all worth it?
    All risks and dangers?
    Should we risk our hearts
    To complete strangers?

    I'd rather not ask
    I'll just wait for it to arrive
    The time when good fortune will show
    Beating my heart to revive

    Until that number comes up
    What should I or you do?
    To help time pass by
    Until our hearts renew

    Should we pray for peace?
    Dare to hope for something great?
    As we just walk around
    Living out our destined fate

    Submitted on 2007-01-23 16:10:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      It is a good poem. The best part in my view is the part that made me think the most.

    "Is it all worth it?
    All risks and dangers?
    Should we risk our hearts
    To complete strangers?"

    For it is always a hard choice wether or not to give our time and emotions to others we know little about. Usually it works out, but strangers can always hurt, just as anyone else.

    It is a good write, nice job.

    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by Mykquillion | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]