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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: rejection song (no more)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lebeauvide
    ASL Info:    24/F
    Elite Ratio:    2.29 - 75/295/165
    Words: 334
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 883
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2047



    Description:
       isn't it funny when someone leaves you, and they come back when you're finally over them?
    it hurts, but it's also the irony of relationships


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsrejection song (no more)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The guitar drops from his hand
    It was all part of his plan
    The words from his lips stopped the whole world
    The song he sang for that particular girl
    The girl who made hell seem okay
    The lady who stole his heart away
    And in that moment she came back
    And kissed him with lips painted black
    And she said

    We’re all going to die someday
    And it just might be today
    Why put it off any longer baby?
    Don’t you want to be with me?
    She said
    I’m everything you ever wanted
    I am the love you’ve always hunted
    I am the darkness that covers your dreams
    Don’t you want to be with me?

    He nods his head slowly and agrees
    He says, “But why did you leave?”
    “It wasn’t my choice!” she screams in his face
    “I never wanted to leave this place!”
    He wipes the tears from her clouded eyes
    And whispers, “Sweetheart, you’re full of lies.”
    “You’re the one who walked away.
    You’re the one who had nothing to say.”
    And he said

    We’re all going to die someday
    There's a chance that it’ll be today
    Why put it off any longer baby?
    Don’t you want to be with me?
    He said
    I’m everything you ever wanted
    I am the love you’ve always hunted
    I am the darkness that covers your dreams
    Don’t you want to be with me?

    “But it’s too late now…
    No, It’s too late now”
    He cries out
    He shouts
    “You’ve been gone too long
    You’re just a line in a song”

    And We’re all going to die someday
    For me, I hope it’ll be today
    You’ve put it off too long baby
    And I don't want you, don't you see?
    He said
    I was everything you ever wanted
    I was the love you always hunted
    I am the darkness that covers your dreams
    You can't do anything for me
    You can't do anything for me





    Submitted on 2007-01-23 19:47:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      sweet, i really liked this. at first, the title made no sense with the lyric but when you get to the end it does. its kinda tragic, the ending. but i enjoyed it none the less. its very classic modern american romance. this piece was great, i could really hear the music when i read it. def going on my favs list! thanks for the read.
    peace
    ~Shadia
    | Posted on 2007-01-30 00:00:00 | by Shadia Dark | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not gonna lie to you, but I freakin' loved this, the irony brought a smile to my face, and the reject's rejection made me laugh. This is a favorite for sure! Though the rhyming scheme seemed to hold it back a bit, but it does bring a rhythm to the lyrics. I gotta a kick out of these:

    “Sweetheart, you’re full of lies.”

    “You’ve been gone too long
    You’re just a line in a song”

    And especially the repetition of:

    We’re all going to die someday
    There's a chance that it’ll be today
    Why put it off any longer baby?


    Kick ass, even in silence you managed to carve the song out into my head... it seemed somewhat upbeat to me. 9.5 out of 10 for sure, yea you caught me one a good day. Spread your words like fire

    Sincerely yours with a blood kiss,
    Naymless.
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by Naymless | [ Reply to This ]
      These were very well written lyrics. I liked them alot. They portrayed emotions very well. I could almost hear the music. It was written very well. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading.

    Saint Razor
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by brknprlcndol | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    132967

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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