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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Star-Crossed, and Set to Flamesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Naymless
    ASL Info:    15/F/phx, az
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 142/110/33
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 787
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 427



    Description:
       Nothing really, just something that's been ruining through my mind for a while. It's kinda short, I tried to add on to it, but nothing really stuck like the begining, so why not make it the end?



    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStar-Crossed, and Set to Flamesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    To end this everlasting darkness,
    I'd set my eyes ablaze,
    And be the silent witness,
    To the beauty that stains your face,

    So press this flame,
    To my gentle and utmost undeserving eyes,
    And as my pupils descend into carnage,
    Nothing will burn me,
    I say to my you,
    My dearest an undoubt love,
    Nothing will burn me like the sadness of your gaze...




    Submitted on 2007-01-23 21:58:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is a very alluring poem! The title automatically caught my attention and after reading this i'm still captivated. It's very well done and if some how adding to it ruins it then...don't add to it! Short poems are still good poems!

    The imagery was amazing and the rhyming was extraordinary! I've read it twice already and of course once more won't hurt. :)

    Awesome write! Keep it up! I enjoy :)

    ~Midnight Shadow~
    | Posted on 2007-01-25 00:00:00 | by Midnight Shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      BEAUTIFUL...like the purest of notes to virgin ears with a star like gaze after a fine wine with the amusement of time at hand.

    This is Brilliant and I'm some what jealous ; )
    Yet that is totally not the point, point is I love it and think I should be off to read more of your work.

    The meter...imagery and heartfelt realism of lusting for love to burn into ones soul is PURE TALENT.

    Thanks for this midnight treat...truly a pleasure.
    | Posted on 2007-01-24 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    132977

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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