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Author: Max R.
Elite Ratio:    3.14 - 33 /29 /17
Words: 108
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 679
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 719



The fingers ball up
The arm goes back
All the muscles tense
She puts up her hands
To try and black the blow
And the fist comes flying
She hits the ground
As his boot hits her ribs
And everything goes black

When she wakes up
The room is white
“I guess this is heaven”
The pain comes down
Onto her body
And she tries to scream

The doctor comes over
Tells her she’s fine
And then He steps beside her
He’s smiling that smile
Working that charm
And tell the doctor she fell
The doctor nods slowly
Sadly she thinks,
“Why, Daddy, why?”

Submitted on 2007-01-25 08:37:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  i thought it was an abusive husband too. so the ending comes as a bit of a surprise.
this is such a delicate subject to write about, but you done it well. very sad, tho.
nicely done.
| Posted on 2007-01-25 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
  This was pretty good, only thing is that the flow was kinda choppy though. but you took a great topic wrote it farly well, i loved the ending at first i thought it was abusive husband or a boyfriend but at the end it was the father, didn't expect it.

Well hope to hear from ya and keep up the good work.

| Posted on 2007-01-25 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]

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