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    dots Submission Name: playgrounddots

    Author: TammyAnnBruton
    ASL Info:    31/f/tx
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 202/148/30
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 661
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1017


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    There once was a place whose luscious grass
    glimmered in shades of jade, whose tall
    trees grew branches that entwined to
    form canopied playgrounds—havens for
    all creatures, big and small.

    Winding through the playgrounds,
    nourishing them, and flowing with
    the rhythm of it all, was a brook so pure
    that music arose from it, inviting
    birds to chirp along and
    flutter their wings in harmony.

    But now the trees and the creatures are all gone,
    and so is the grass that once glimmered in shades of jade;
    just shades of death remain of those canopied playgrounds.

    The once pure brook is now filled with
    garbage, no longer nourishing, no
    longer able to invite birds to sing and
    dance along with its rhythm.
    Only the sound of desolation is heard there,
    and no one really hears it except Mother Nature

    Submitted on 2007-01-26 13:02:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I don't want to read to much into this write so I will just do a little guessing and hope I don't miss the mark by to much.

    To me this is about feeling save and loved in a place that was special. Now it is a place of broken memories that only harbor resenment and regret.


    You could be actually be talking about a childhood playground that you went to as a child. One that you have gone back to and found that it has been destroyed over the years.

    Amazing how we can go back to our past and find that all those things we loved and cherished are now no longer as beautful as they were when we were young and innocent.

    I don't comment on grammar because I read the write as a way to see into the writers mind.

    I say that you did A nice job on this one.

    Keep writing because it helps to sooth the heart.

    Respect and Admiration

    | Posted on 2007-02-05 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      Deep....O.o Inner termoil? Are you okay? Hey hun .... you may not know me but if you need someone to talk to just PM me ill be here for you. I know life is hard sometimes, but it will get better keep hope.... and as for the poem it was truly beautiful and very deep great and wonderous work. xoxo ~ Ashley
    | Posted on 2007-01-26 00:00:00 | by Bloody_Rain | [ Reply to This ]

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