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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fuck Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: poetic_tragedy
    ASL Info:    16/f/USA
    Elite Ratio:    2.89 - 39/55/30
    Words: 241
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 1367
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1590



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFuck Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What happened to my father
    The one I used to love?
    He got washed down the drain
    With all the alcohol and drugs.

    I remember your wedding day
    And how you had hurt me only days before
    But I smiled so pretty (Such a good pretender)
    And acted like nothing had happened.

    Daddy, don't you see my tears?
    I'm crying deep inside.
    3 days ago you molested me
    I'm your daughter, you bastard, how could you?

    What happened to my father
    The one I used to love?
    He got washed down the drain
    With all the alcohol and drugs.

    And I feel like it's my fault ("You're my little bartender")
    I brought you drink after drink

    My eight year old mind couldn't comprehend
    And you used that against me
    You were smart, no doubt
    You knew for a fact I wouldn't tell.

    What happened to my father
    The one I used to love?
    He got washed down the drain
    With all the alcohol and drugs.

    You were never a real father
    Simply a figment of your twisted imagination
    A fucking sperm donor is all you'll ever be to me
    Aren't you proud of your little girl Daddy?

    You haven't seen me in years
    And you're still denying what you have done
    Face up to it, you're never gunna win
    (Dirty bastard, double your dosage and leave me alone.)
    Aren't you proud?





    Submitted on 2007-01-26 23:32:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I find it very difficult to comment on lyrics without actually hearing the tune that they have been made to go with, as you can't make the usual comments on rhythm and rhyme with lyrics as you usually would on poetry. That only really leaves you with content and structure. I'll start with content.

    I think the first word that comes into my head is: 'Ouch.' Reminds me somewhat of tori Amos' 'Me and a gun'. Very emotional, powerful and hard hitting. I'm sorry you've had to go through that, and if you need anyone to talk to, or scream at I've been in exactly that place just with a slightly different person.

    Structure: Also difficult to cope on, the refrain is used well, not too often or too little. The brackets on the other hand I'm not so sure about personally. Either you need more of them so there's an almost continuous underflow of bracketed comments or you need to lose them in my mind anyway. Also the one stanza which is 3 lines confused me slightly as it didn't seem to fit...
    | Posted on 2007-01-27 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]


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