This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Fuck You

Author: poetic_tragedy
ASL Info:    16/f/USA
Elite Ratio:    2.89 - 39 /55 /30
Words: 241
Class/Type: Lyrics /
Total Views: 1612
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1590


Fuck You

What happened to my father
The one I used to love?
He got washed down the drain
With all the alcohol and drugs.

I remember your wedding day
And how you had hurt me only days before
But I smiled so pretty (Such a good pretender)
And acted like nothing had happened.

Daddy, don't you see my tears?
I'm crying deep inside.
3 days ago you molested me
I'm your daughter, you bastard, how could you?

What happened to my father
The one I used to love?
He got washed down the drain
With all the alcohol and drugs.

And I feel like it's my fault ("You're my little bartender")
I brought you drink after drink

My eight year old mind couldn't comprehend
And you used that against me
You were smart, no doubt
You knew for a fact I wouldn't tell.

What happened to my father
The one I used to love?
He got washed down the drain
With all the alcohol and drugs.

You were never a real father
Simply a figment of your twisted imagination
A fucking sperm donor is all you'll ever be to me
Aren't you proud of your little girl Daddy?

You haven't seen me in years
And you're still denying what you have done
Face up to it, you're never gunna win
(Dirty bastard, double your dosage and leave me alone.)
Aren't you proud?

Submitted on 2007-01-26 23:32:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I find it very difficult to comment on lyrics without actually hearing the tune that they have been made to go with, as you can't make the usual comments on rhythm and rhyme with lyrics as you usually would on poetry. That only really leaves you with content and structure. I'll start with content.

I think the first word that comes into my head is: 'Ouch.' Reminds me somewhat of tori Amos' 'Me and a gun'. Very emotional, powerful and hard hitting. I'm sorry you've had to go through that, and if you need anyone to talk to, or scream at I've been in exactly that place just with a slightly different person.

Structure: Also difficult to cope on, the refrain is used well, not too often or too little. The brackets on the other hand I'm not so sure about personally. Either you need more of them so there's an almost continuous underflow of bracketed comments or you need to lose them in my mind anyway. Also the one stanza which is 3 lines confused me slightly as it didn't seem to fit...
| Posted on 2007-01-27 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?