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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Laying Underneath The Sundots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kase
    ASL Info:    27, Winnipeg
    Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 169/398/234
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 830
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 773



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLaying Underneath The Sundots
    -------------------------------------------


    she kissed him goodbye, as she said she wasnt ready
    letting go of her silky hair, that he was holding gently
    she turned around, continued pace, walking towards the setting sun
    pain had become forgotten, but it returned to have its fun

    he watched her drift away, vanishing among the distance
    and as he cried his tears, he regreted his existence
    knowing that she was gone he knelt down and slit his wrists
    forever exposing himself to all the heavenly bliss

    as he laid and bled, she turned around and headed back
    she couldnt face the world, without him set on track
    she ran and ran until she saw him laying underneath the sun
    and as she kissed him once again, she noticed he was gone




    Submitted on 2007-01-27 13:46:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      2 words: JUST WOW

    This is beautiful Kase...you're a very deep writer. I enjoy reading :)
    | Posted on 2013-09-29 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
      this one is so sad. i loved the ending. great imagery and well worded. good work

    AL

    i love these lines!

    "he watched her drift away, vanishing among the distance
    and as he cried his tears, he regreted his existence"
    | Posted on 2007-01-30 00:00:00 | by Amanda Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      How sad. The best love stories are always tragic. In my opinion, when people are in love, they should die together before life rips them apart. That would be the only perfect ending.

    Anyway, I really like this. Wonderful descriptions.
    I have nothing to critique, so I guess I'll be on my way.

    Very nicely done
    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2007-01-28 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]


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