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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Maybe..dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kimmy
    ASL Info:    18/f/Ar
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 18/32/20
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 604
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 574



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMaybe..dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Maybe things will go away in time…
    Maybe I won’t cry every time my head hits the pillow,
    I’ll wake up smiling and go to sleep with a smile,
    I’ll always be in a good mood,
    And know that no matter what,
    Things are always going to be good
    But right now,
    I seem to be unable to find the sunrise by the shore
    The worlds moving all around me
    And I’m staying in one place
    My questions are running in circles
    Never seeming to find answers…
    I just want to know everything’s going to be okay…




    Submitted on 2007-01-27 22:36:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      A critique.

    So in the end, what is the cause of all this depression and lack of hope?
    You say some real things there in the first two lines . However, line four kinds water down - with the use of the word good, it sound almost like a cliché now and it would help if you made it visible, explain it but do not use it. Same thing for mood. The rhyme thus becomes not so rhythmic...

    Hey, you do not need to run around in circles....i got the "soul"ution. Anyway, you may have heard this many times before or not yet but Jesus is the only one who can give you the peace and rest you desire...See, He came down to earth and lived among men and knew their weaknesses and felt for them to the point of dying for their sins...He took upon himself the punishement and the curse that we so live blessed. He did not stop on death, he rose up again and also gave us the ability to triumph over any situation. God went ahead to leave us His Holy Spirit who would guide us in all truth and help us live victorious lives, full of peace and joy. The Bibel says, the Kingdom of God is rightoeusness, peace, joy in the Holy Ghost. My friend, John 1:12 says that to everyone who believed Him, he gave the right to become children of God- so even you you can right now and start the best life you will ever live- wanna join me? JUST say these words. Father, I accept I am a sinner, and that I deserve death however your word says that You so loved the world that you sent your only begotten son, that whosoever shd believe in Him, should nto perish but have everlasting life. Here Father, I am accepting Jesus your Son as my Lord and Saviour. Help me follow Him each day and fill me with your Holy Spirit. I confess today I am born again. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray Amen. Gurl, that is the best thing you shall ever do if you have done it. Let me know of you have. And if you have, tell soemone about it, get a Bible, it is the written word of God, there you shall receive instructions. Then join a Bible based Faith based Church and start to grow into the full woman God intended you to be. God bless. Joel
    | Posted on 2007-01-28 00:00:00 | by nevender | [ Reply to This ]


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