Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Perfect Metaphordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 924
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 735



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPerfect Metaphordots
    -------------------------------------------


    Love beats you till youíre sore.
    Heart dangling from the gallows, the perfect metaphor.
    Tunnel sight leaves things unclear.
    Everything falls apart and disappears.
    The heart crushed into dust.
    Hate replaces love which isnít enough.
    I canít let such feelings return.
    Iím afraid of the lessons I have yet to learn.
    Things that erupt and stab.
    Wounds that stay a grossly scab.
    Emotions that prevail in discolored swirl.
    Love hollowed out by a single girl.
    Love thatís not worth the risk.
    Pain thatís sharp and brisk.
    Pain is the only feeling that helps you know youíre alive.
    To bad it also leaves you empty and lonely inside.




    Submitted on 2004-01-31 00:32:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This I like! especially "Heart dangling from the gallows, the perfect metaphor." I like the themes and metaphors in most of your work, but some (to me) need a bit more shine. This one shines already. Silver
    | Posted on 2004-02-01 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      sad, but well writen. I like the line "hate replaces love which isn't enough".
    good one.
    | Posted on 2004-01-31 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is good stuff. Reminds me of a time in my life. Excellent.
    | Posted on 2004-01-31 00:00:00 | by Scribner | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    1333

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    This written by Chelebel
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Genesis written by saartha
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry