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    dots Submission Name: I Am No Onedots

    Author: Vasudeva
    ASL Info:    43/M/irrelevant
    Elite Ratio:    5.12 - 24/27/23
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 642
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1088

       I was reading Michel Foucault's Madness and Civilization tonight.
    I'm looking for any comments or any advice or anything else.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Am No Onedots

    Darkness surrounds the metal...
    Sterile hallways, doors and bars of steel.

    Cuffs and chains so I can barely move.
    Each door filled with oppression,
    in stark relief.
    I breathe only after we pass.

    Involuntarily inhaling
    human piss stink...
    Steel fuming metal toilets
    With no doors.

    Can this be
    where the most prestigious university in the world

    In my Black and Hispanic case file zip code,
    my life was led up a high dive of metal

    and pulled into the thinned air of the stratosphere

    Communing with the gods of metal-

    Be they King Syringe, Mr. Gun,
    Locked, metal doors...
    Steely eyed, naive docs,
    with the power of the pen.

    They are the difference
    between all or none.

    Heaven or Hell,
    (or is not)
    in a plastic cup.

    Served with a steaming
    side dish,

    of Death.

    Submitted on 2007-01-28 02:55:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      When i saw 'ship of fools' i thought you might be reading Foucalt. My trouble with him is that he always seems to ask all the right questions, and then provides none of the answers.

    Yeah, madness will end in death, addiction, incarceration, institutionalization....and a whole lot of suffering in the meantime.

    I think madness is overrated, especially in the arts. Modern science has invented classifications for everything...'adolescence'...'dysfunction'. Now everything has become homogenized, and everyone is 'bipolar'. They've even cleaned up the names for all our multifarious disorders. Manic-depressive has become 'bipolar'..dysfunctional family has become 'imbalanced'...and multiple personality has been subjugateed to the monicker of 'dissociative identity disorder'.

    I'm clinical, have been declared since '92 (now i'm just bragging). But alas, now madness is the new 'in thing'. And to think....i used to think i was unique.

    Oh well, maybe i'll follow Foucalt's lead and retire to a nudist colony in California....to live out my days in peace, sunshine, and nakedness.

    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by twacky | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an interesting poem. I am studying Foucault as part of a uni course, and I'm glad I am, because I understood this poem more. I haven't read any of Madness and civilisation, but I have read excerpts from Discipline and Punish and I found it really intriguing...

    I liked the suffocating atmosphere you created here, especially the line, 'the thinned air of the stratosphere' which really brings across the image of the 'prisoner' being unable to breathe...your emphasis on chains and metal and bars all create this picture of a institution for the mentally ill...and it's ironic, since institutions for the mentally ill should not bear resemblance to prisons but they did..moreso in the past than now.

    Two weeks ago I was holidaying in a town called Launceston, and I found out that there was this doctor who lived in this freakish looking house a few decades ago who used to bring in mentally ill people to his house and pretended to care for them, when really he was cutting out their brains in the basement. But who would have suspected? He had 'the power of the pen'

    A few suggestions. In the first line, I think 'darkness' instead of 'blackness' would fit better. And with the second line, maybe '...doors and bars of steel' since metal is repeated a few times.

    Thanks for the read :)

    | Posted on 2007-01-28 00:00:00 | by pennyroyal tea | [ Reply to This ]

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