Wow. I don't even know where to start.
It feels like I've already read this a thousand times before.
You can't spell very well.
You need more descriptions. Expand on things. Put yourself into it. Maybe throw in some fancy metaphors every once in a while, you know? Make it original. Instead of just saying "problems," explain (in a poetic way) what those problems are.
I could relate to every word you said without having to put any thought into it.
I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it could be better.
And always remember, if you don't hope for anything, you can't be disappointed.