My Name is Bill by SpartanSteve

I think the first thing I grew to love about gambling is how friendly everyone is usually. I mean, you have your bitter odd-ducks, but for the most part, even if you're minding your own business, people just come to say hey and shoot the shit. The horse track was my domain, and once you get to know the regulars, you're never lonely when you're out. I'm 47, my name is Bill Roger Alvin and I'm a gambling addict. Most nights I'm down at the track wearing my white cowboy hat.

I used to offer to bring my wife, LeAnne, along, but she can't stand it. Tonight she was yelling at me. When she yells the kids go off in their room.

"I can't believe you. You can't keep doing this", she said. I never yell back.

"Honey, you and the kids can come if you want."

"Why? To watch you lose your self respect?"

I replied, "I'll be back later tonight. I won't be out too late".

"As soon as you lose all your money, I know. Dinner won't be waiting".

I told her I'd get dinner at the race track buffet. They know me there, and sometimes I can talk them into letting me in for free. My favorite is the meatballs with barbecue sauce, followed by the sirloin steaks. It really is a good buffet.

I watch a race or two from the grand stand, sitting and occasionally talking with whoever passes by. Mikey isn't here tonight. He's almost always here. He used to work in the betting window, but resumed his carpentry after his wife threatened to leave him. That's where I got to know him.

I always think that LeAnne would never leave me, but lately I'm not sure. She looks worn thin. Her hair, which used to be straight, looks like a mess of cowlicks and brown frizz. I always say I love her and buy her things when I come home with extra cash, but she never cares. The kids love it, though.

I got Brien a new gameboy and I want to get Cindy a pony when she gets older. I do this partly to keep my winnings from getting re-gambled, but mostly because I love all three of them, even if LeAnne doesn't say I love you back sometimes.

Over the course of the next hour or so I bet on a few races. Just 15 dollars on each. I ended up about 10 bucks ahead, so I decided to call it quits for now and have dinner.

Meatballs were off, so I had a couple of steaks and doused them in Heinz. Ketchup makes everything better. Barbecue sauce would have been good, but I couldn't find any and didn't flag down a waiter. Eating alone gives you time to think. I thought mostly about the upcoming race. They'd be on race 9 by the time I got through eating.

I would bet on one last race and not stay for the 10th and final one. I still had the fourty dollars I started off with. I'd put it all on the number six horse, Lawry's Lesson. I bet on her to win. I was distracted for a few minutes talking to some black kid who wanted me to explain how the pay-offs worked. He ended up betting on number six, too.

Before we knew it the race had begun and we were cheering. Number six started off in the front and ended in the front. After looking at the odds in the racing program, I knew Lawry's Lesson was a hot ticket. She won, and we won.

I told the kid it was good talking to him and shook his hand. I gave him my racing program so he'd have the picks for the next race. Even with 70 dollars more than I had at the beginning of the evening, I feared what LeAnne might say when I got in the door.

How her dad was a gambler. How I was fucking her over just like he did. How I was sleeping on the couch.

I won't put up a fuss, because I know I'm an addict. I won't yell back, I'll just shower and pass out on the couch after watching Jay Leno. It's all I can really do.