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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sole Satisfierdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.09 - 366/363/154
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 565
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1547



    Description:
       we must find our beauty, worth, and
    identity within the creator...
    Sole Satisfier is a terminology of Christian theology which refers to God as the only one who can satisfy human beings.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSole Satisfierdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The sterile nuances of narcissistic naïveté
    stare listlessly into the convex hemlock sea.
    Monolithic myopic
    shed cryptic tears upon still black waters.

    Debacle frame convulses
    against Eden’s disdainful jagged flesh.
    Brittle form raises the cracked chalice
    in pretentious worship of inherent beauty.

    “Drink up ye bitter moths,
    expel the dalliance of butterfly dreams.
    Imbibe ye revolting mules,
    of the stallions riddling wormwood brew.
    Behold, ye spastic emus the dulcet swan
    splitting the topaz-torrents gracefully.”

    The concoction of self-masticating egocentrism
    slithers smoothly as glass infused oil down the coarse throat
    of pseudo-existence.
    A supernova seeing it’s reflection in quasars
    is reduced to a solemn nebula of reality.
    Nothing more than dark matter,
    an Echo skipping upon rippling quicksilver,
    a polished stone upon riptides…

    Piercing the nihilistic skies Aurora charges with Boreas
    within flaming chariots through the shattered atmosphere;
    immersing the quixotic cavalier.
    Captivated by Eternity’s blazing immortal gazes,
    Deo-centric vision realizes self,
    reflected in sovereign eyes
    reflected in mortal eyes
    fused as one with the Bright and Morning Star.

    Quivering lips purely proclaim
    sole satisfier amid the chorus of creation...




    Submitted on 2007-01-28 16:24:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      The concoction of self-masticating egocentrism
    slithers smoothly as oil down the coarse throat
    of pseudo-existence.
    A supernova seeing it’s reflection in quasars
    is reduced to a solemn nebula of reality.
    Nothing more than dark matter,
    an Echo skipping upon rippling quicksilver,
    a polished stone upon riptides…

    Piercing the nihilistic skies Aurora charges with Boreas
    within flaming chariots through the shattered atmosphere;
    immersing the quixotic cavalier.
    Captivated by Eternity’s blazing immortal gazes,
    Deo-centric vision realizes self,
    reflected in sovereign eyes
    reflected in mortal eyes
    fused as one with the Bright and Morning Star.



    Was it your intent to compare the self-satisfied to cattle calmly chewing their cuds in an open field; the self-masticating celebrating their pseudo-existence? And was it also your aim to reflect today's 'stars' (supernova) by the raw sound they produce (quasars) as they're reduced to animorphic gases (nebulae)? Bright lights=empty sounds=hot air=futility? Your writing is extremely dense, John Paul, so that there are those occasions when metaphors stumble over one another because they're pressed so tightly together. You say a great deal in a handful of words. I wonder what you could say if the language were stripped just a bit of its density? Just a thought.

    Your style is appropriate to your intellectual level. Have you ever considered writing a parable? That might stretch you in creative directions you wouldn't otherwise consider.

    Once again, just a thought. Your passion is your energy.

    Take care.
    Bill.
    | Posted on 2007-01-29 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      very good very good
    I love the word choices
    how you manged to pick such vibrant meaningful words and make them flow into the poem as if they were just part everyday vocabulary is amazing and something i have yet to achieve.
    there was a couple i wasn't to sure on and had to look up but thats just fine because i think that poem needs them and upon looking them up they fit perfect and i would not of chose any different words myself if i were in teh situation
    | Posted on 2007-01-29 00:00:00 | by digitalflower | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a great piece. The idea behind it is real, yet original which is something very rare in the community today. The strength of it lies squarely in it's inherent truth. No one can deny that mankind as a whole suffers from this condition of "narcissistic naïveté". And the few who do realize the universal fact often have to hit rock bottom before they can.

    I do think the diction might have more impact if it wasn't so pompous. The piece takes on a rather pretentious air... but perhaps that adds to it more than anything. Who am I to say? Either way, excellent work. Enjoyed reading it.

    -Lance
    | Posted on 2007-01-29 00:00:00 | by giventofly | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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