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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: These Eyes of Minedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lareth
    ASL Info:    23/M/WA
    Elite Ratio:    5 - 103/139/48
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Misc/
    Total Views: 1075
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 992



    Description:
       This is something I wrote for someone who is trying to take the world on her shoulders and she already has enough problems of her own she has to adress.
    She is prgressing slowly but I know that she is still in pain, pain that will not heal quickly. She is emotionally scarred and yet she takes time to help others with emotional stress... She is a diamond in the rough... but I feel that for this diamond... the pressure is becoming too much, and its beginning to melt.
    This is the truth... the world is full of pain, full of suffering. But for those of us that stck it out... there is a reward when the road comes to an end. But in order to recieve that reward... we need to take the right turns.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThese Eyes of Minedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Broken,
    Pained by your silent suffering.
    They know you cannot bear your burden.
    They know you are crying inside,
    Dying inside.

    When will you stop fooling yourself?
    You cannot hide from them.
    You cannot run from them.

    They feel your pain from miles away.
    You try to tell them that you are alright.
    But they know the truth.
    You are crying inside,
    Dying inside.

    You say it's alright.
    But you cannot hide from them,
    You cannot run from them.

    They would have you smile,
    They would have you laugh.
    But it will not let them.
    You are crying inside,
    Dying inside.

    You refuse when they offer help.
    You cannot hide from them,
    You cannot run from them.

    They can see the truth...
    These eyes of mine.
    Slowly but surely;
    You are crying inside,
    Dying inside.




    Submitted on 2007-01-28 23:17:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i liked the repeating line alot: you are crying inside
    dying inside."
    very good poem. something i can relate to.
    | Posted on 2008-03-09 00:00:00 | by Aangskate | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed reading this. I just wonder...who its about. It sound a lot like someone especially close to me. I miss you and hope all is well. Great job!
    It also made me hurt. I can feel the pain, I know exactly what that person is going through.
    | Posted on 2007-12-01 00:00:00 | by pvt.ackerson | [ Reply to This ]
      What my first impression of this poem is a bit conflicted. A few things remained unclear, obscured by its own writing. Who are they? What is their true intentions‘? Well, I suppose that might have spoken for itself. Adding some words into this made it dark, turning it ageist itself. But, that was your true intention after all, some words would have been better left unsaid. But, nobody can live their life without feeling pain, or the pain of a loved one.

    But, everyone once it a while you need to smile. Make the world a brighter place, hope you supported that one who you are writing this for. I am sure they needed it. At least you can see it, maybe she was blinded by her own. But sometimes, making people see is for the best. Well, I should wrap things up before I start to ramble.

    Overall, I would rate this a good one. Some depression inside of it, making it bittersweet. But, this is the true side of poetry. You have unlocked that side, and it had reared its ugly head at you. Though it was a swift slap on the face, it must of hurt. Anyway, I hope you keep up the good work. I really liked this one.
    Sincerely,
    ~Namomi
    | Posted on 2007-09-13 00:00:00 | by NotionallyYours | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really powerful, and it really hits home for some reason. This is a sad piece, although there's a certain strength to it...a hope hidden within the words. I really enjoyed this, you seem to have a melodic way of writing, a way of making your work seem song-like and smooth.

    This is a perfect example.

    Forever saved,

    Sorrel
    | Posted on 2007-02-13 00:00:00 | by SorrelsReality | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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