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Mr Heart

Author: lainie75
ASL Info:    30/f/uk
Elite Ratio:    3.83 - 276 /254 /32
Words: 149
Class/Type: Poetry /Comedy
Total Views: 961
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 868


i havnt wrote for months , this is what came out

Mr Heart

All by himself the heart it did sit
Waiting for the fire within to be lit
He waited & waited & waited somemore
And as if out of no-where his fire did roar

Beating to music he felt all around
The drums in his heart made a wonderful sound.
So happy & carefree was this heart with his match.
so lucky was he to get such a catch.

Till oneday it ended she'd found arteries new.
And this little red heart had turned shades of blue.
Broken in two and so angry was he.
sadness & pity was all he could see.

Till oneday he realised he wasnt to blame.
And sometimes two hearts just dont beat the same.
so if your hearts broken it will become new
As time is a healer just add superglue

Submitted on 2007-01-28 23:48:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  this was really cute...i wouldn't really put it under happy but it is cheerful..and kind of bitter sweet -like. i like writings that put images in my head like this one did.for a while..and then it stopped it could've been a little longer.
maybe you could edit it..but other than that, it was a nice poem to read on a rainy day.
| Posted on 2007-01-29 00:00:00 | by _Dancing_Alone_ | [ Reply to This ]
  I Liked this
The ending was a little off but the emotion carried in your words was excellent
I like how you where reaching out showing others that we all go through a lot of the same emotions
It is a credit to you that you are reaching out to others
Sadly you dont see that very much in the World anymore
Greast Job
God Bless

Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
| Posted on 2007-01-29 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  This is so potent. It takes the break-up scenario and, instead of drearily labouring over lost love, it gets into a wonderfully bright perspective that is normally so hard to find.

I laughed, and, I don't do a lot of that. Thank you for a nicely metrical poem that just catches its fliow so quickly and illuminates this old heart.
More please

| Posted on 2007-01-29 00:00:00 | by siradrian | [ Reply to This ]

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