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    dots Submission Name: Till Lust Do We Partdots

    Author: Acid
    ASL Info:    17/M/Newport, WA
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 103/159/76
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 657
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 672


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTill Lust Do We Partdots

    Till lust do we part,
    Six feet under, we drop.
    We smile with lunacy now,
    Our pristine faces bent helplessly.

    Till our blood lets itself,
    And the pleasantries stop.
    Lost like our passion,
    Reverting to nothing.

    Till we decide,
    To kill or be killed.
    Because the knife,
    It stabs two at once.

    Till our skulls crumble,
    Beneath the feet of our children.
    Leave us, as dust to the wind,
    Lonely and forggoten.

    Till this poem stops,
    Like the love letters burnt.
    When my hand quits this,
    And these two may rest.

    Submitted on 2007-01-29 11:04:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      delightful. like chocolate hmmm.

    "Till lust do we part,
    Six feet under, we drop.
    We smile with lunacy now,
    Our pristine faces bent helplessly."

    reminds me of HIM meets Cradle of Filth. wonderful

    i know i know it's not quite a in depth and wordy as some comment but i think you get it.

    ~shadow xox

    | Posted on 2007-03-18 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      you have a way with words that doesnt fail to enchant me....

    the piece is a breathing, bleeding mass of love and hatred, bitterness and longing alll rolled up into a pretty little package with ribbons and bows, rhymes and flow

    i wonder if perhaps the speaker felt that the "till lust do we part" obviously reflecting "till death do us part" was as much a curse as an endearing avowal?

    it makes me think and smile and still feel the poem pulsing, living.....

    "Till this poem stops,
    Like the love letters burnt.
    When my hand quits this,
    And these two may rest."

    i loved this part the best, it was like the heart of the entire piece, it unraveled it, ended it and yet continued it in my mind....the words are magnificient, the flow superb, but it is the feel of this piece that really draws me to it, like moths to a flame.....you have an extraodrnary talent, keep it up!!!
    | Posted on 2007-01-31 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]

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