Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Girl In A Bird's Cagedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Acid
    ASL Info:    17/M/Newport, WA
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 103/159/76
    Words: 184
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 579
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1314



    Description:
       Creepy, but enjoy...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Girl In A Bird's Cagedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Gentle patters on the rooftops,
    Falling from above.
    Rain, the only depressing hope,
    Left for me in this hell.

    Demons walk within these halls,
    Kings and peasants alike.

    Darkness on the outside,
    Is nothing compared to that within.
    Bought by lust,
    One like all, that means nothing.

    The cherry blossums,
    Fallen and dead long ago.
    Leaves the bare hide of the trees exposed.
    I feel a tree in a flesh orchard.

    A demon knocks upon my door,
    Glowing eyes in darksness stand alone.

    Hours pass as tortures come.
    They take away my voice.
    Pain of mind and body, one.
    Tears flow like the falling rain.

    When all that could be done, has,
    The demon smiles,
    He says to me:
    "Don't worry, I shall return..."

    My sanity snaps like a brittle twig,
    Stepped on by despair.

    The perfumes choke me,
    My eyes water.
    My peace comes at last.
    "Stupid wretch, wake I say!"

    "Stand up, you have a guest."
    "Y-yes sir..."

    My despair sets in again...
    I forgot, there is no escape from hell.




    Submitted on 2007-01-29 11:05:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is intense. It's like Samsara, one type of Eastern religions version of reincarnation. Basically it says that every life your reborn into is hell because your not at peace with the gods (or your variation there of).

    This line reminded me of Dante's Inferno:

    "I feel a tree in a flesh orchard."

    One of Dante's rings of hell is this giant orchard where people are turned into the trees, they can't grow fruit, but the sirens I think come and peck at them and break their twigs all day and all night (or hell's version of the same).

    This was really depressing, being woken up inside your nightmare. That would suck.

    Sam
    | Posted on 2007-01-29 00:00:00 | by Falling Rain | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    133386

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wavelength written by saartha
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    ME written by jjd
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To written by SavedDragon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry