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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Reflection:Denieddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ACircuitShock
    ASL Info:    18/M/WA
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 221/243/40
    Words: 242
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1945
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1574



    Description:
       I am really bored and I just wrote this now, it's not that great but I didn't really have time to edit it like my other ones. Tell me what you think!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsReflection:Denieddots
    -------------------------------------------


    This cold and lifeless
    Mirror in my hands
    Shines rainbows on a world
    Otherwise devoid of color.

    This cold and pointless
    Mirror in my hands
    Shines reflections of this scenery
    Back to the gods of men;
    Back to their own eyes
    Which they foolishly believe to be sacred.

    And yet, in this mirror,
    Where is my reflection?
    Why do I see nothing but
    Translucency?
    Am I so apt to ignorance
    That I ignore the very sight of my self?
    Or perhaps,
    It does not wish it self to be seen,
    Perhaps
    It does not enjoy
    The thought of it's inhabitant
    Realizing all his faults;
    Veiwing his very soul,
    And seeing that no light
    Will ever find it's way
    To his cold and lifeless heart.

    Ah, ignorance,
    The cold and refreshing
    Poison;
    I take it everyday
    Simply to keep myself sane.
    And if this mirror denies me
    Of my denial,
    I will deny it it's luster.

    So,
    To smash this mirror upon this rock,
    It reveals that is fragile;
    Yet as I pick up these broken peices
    I see a glint through the edges of my sight,
    It is an antidote
    For this poison which I am gratefull for,
    And it is forced upon me.

    This cold and shattered
    Mirror in my hands
    Shines my reflection back to me,
    And I can finally see it.

    It tells me I am broken.




    Submitted on 2004-06-05 15:19:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love where this went, but I knew it was going there from the mid point. I got this sense that you would find it easier to not be than to be. And viewing your broken self in the broken mirror, perfect.
    So now, what do you want to edit?
    | Posted on 2004-06-14 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... you didn't edit this one, really? not bad at all.... i like the entire concept behind this one.... and i love the part of ignorance being like a poison. this one flowed almost like a song, and i'm sure it would sound pretty cool as one. beautiful writing as always, you ought to pick up on writing some lyrics as well as i think you'd be really good at it. anywho... i like. XOXO dandan
    | Posted on 2004-06-07 00:00:00 | by Dandan | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like the ending. it made everything fit, i think. the whole piece was stellar. you use the word cold a lot. other than that i can't find anything to complain about.
    | Posted on 2004-06-07 00:00:00 | by shootingstar | [ Reply to This ]
      Thats sad. But this was a good piece. I hope you write more like this. It was good, and there wasn't any critiques for me to say. Great write!
    | Posted on 2004-06-05 00:00:00 | by Broken heart dies | [ Reply to This ]
      Kind of repetitive with "denial," but it works. Great job. I especially like the first stanza. Sorry I can't offer you anyconstructive criticizim. You're too good.
    | Posted on 2004-06-09 00:00:00 | by Abby Sinthetic | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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