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    dots Submission Name: nirvanadots

    Author: onepieces
    ASL Info:    27/m/corona ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.39 - 116/101/52
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 816


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    if i am broken

    and broken men must
    be mused

    does my muse break
    over quicksilver dawn

    as if a green leafed sun
    in half shade of things
    held over my eyes
    burned-to this slow
    dying of a man

    beautiful eyes
    of evergreen sonnets-
    riverbend in songs filled
    with plentitude of planets

    the palpable stare

    in summer we will plant
    seeds onto your palms
    and let the branches
    grow over your eyelids
    and let the roots take hold
    of this land-
    an empty temple
    to a godless wonder

    and in autumn
    you will find me here
    where your shadow gathers-
    awaiting your
    jagged hands of earth

    Submitted on 2007-01-31 02:14:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was amazing! I really loved the enitre thing. All of the imagery and the feeling just came through so well. Great write!
    | Posted on 2007-02-02 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      this is an interesting piece, but i am not sure i understand its meaning or significance....it seems to have a feeling of saddness about it, an air desperation and unrequited love, although i cant be sure.....
    your piece does have a nice flow and pattern to it despite its opaqueness......you have done a wonderfull job with this piece, keep it up.


    ps, i would really appreciate it if you could perhaps describe this to me so that i could better undertstand and enjoy the piece? that would be lovely, thank you bunches!!!
    | Posted on 2007-01-31 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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