Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Take A Walk...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 200
    Class/Type: Rant/Depressed
    Total Views: 533
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1440



    Description:
       Shrug its not ment toward anyone was takin a shower kinda popped into my head


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTake A Walk...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take a look my friend
    Take a walk in these shoes
    You seem to ridicule oh ss well

    Let's see how well you hold up

    Do you see the pain?
    Can you hear the tears?


    Splash upon these sheets of paper?
    See the pain you have caused me

    It is nothing compared to the pain I have endured
         Nevertheless it is pain
    And you have inflicted it upon me

    Little do you know?
    I am strong enough to over come it all!

    And although you do not live within these shoes you ridicule
    Day in
    And Day out


    Although you do not endure the pain you have put upon me
    And the pain other have given me

    Yours will come
    The time will come
    For you to live in such pain I have
    To live in such shoes
    I am living in

    And the day will come
    That I'll be given a chance
    To live in yours
    And be able to be
    Just as content as you seem to be.




    Submitted on 2007-01-31 03:41:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey, I like how you emphasize some words it gives it more character, I think I'll implement that into my writings as well. Overall very well crafted, I enjoyed reading it.
    | Posted on 2007-07-12 00:00:00 | by 7makaveli | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    133591

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Push written by JanePlane
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Incubus written by monad
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Wavelength written by saartha
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry