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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Finally (I feel...)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EmpathicAya
    ASL Info:    13+8/unMale/Your Mind
    Elite Ratio:    7.31 - 700/456/109
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1052
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1050



    Description:
       This is quite literally one of the most horrible things I've ever written, but poetry has always been my outlet. Sorry for unleashing this on you.
    ~Azura*


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFinally (I feel...)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I finally know how
    it
    feels, that churning...

    Submissing to depressing
    music that welcome me to
    share
    in their misery.
    And me wanting,
    Oh so wanting to go to
    escape the churning....

    I finally know how
    it
    feels, that wanting...

    Sleeping for years to
    linger in
    this space of my own, away
    from you, and me
    wanting to, oh so wanting
    to go, and elude the wanting...

    I finally know how
    it
    feels, that needing...

    Closing the brain away
    from
    expressing the
    truth of this outcome to
    me, and
    me wanting to, oh so wanting
    to escape the
    needing...

    And finally, I know how
    it feels
    realizing...

    Waking up, wondering how
    the lies
    I fed to myself were
    formed to get me here,

    Here
    in your arms,

    away from you.




    Submitted on 2007-01-31 22:26:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Poetry is my outlet as well, so I can definitely relate to that. I'm not good speaking, but give me a piece of paper and a pen and can tell you everythng I need to.

    This poem was nice as well. I enjoy how much emotion you put into your writing. It's not just empty words, but they have a lot of underlying words that aren't being said. I love that.

    I might would have liked to see some more imagery in here, some metaphors or something maybe, but that's just for show *snicker* I like the basic quality of this without the extras.

    I don't think it's 'horrible' at all. You need to realise that you have talent! So far I haven't read one thing of yours that's been awful like you seem to think it is. Know that what you have to say is important, and as long as it's something you feel and have poured yourself into, it's not going to be 'horrible' or any such thing.

    Okay, sorry, didn't mean to start giving you a pep talk :) It's just that I think you're very talented, and don't need to doubt your ability :)

    Lovely job, as always!

    Cheers and God bless,

    ~Mandi~
    | Posted on 2007-02-17 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]
      Heeeey Aya!

    I am soooo awful! Just shoot me now. I totally forgot about coming to see you! *dies the death of a thousand deaths*

    Will you ever forgive me?...

    This has a real lyrical quality about it; I can very easily picture someone singing this. I really like the idea of wanting to escape wanting and needing to escape needing. That reminds me of a song... "so sick of being sick of..." I don't remember what comes next, but that's the important part anyway. I actually found the second to last stanza the most interesting, the just the thought of forming lies to get you somewhere, lies as a vehicle to take you to some place, which in this case, is quite the place; in someone's arms, away from them... hmm... definately something to ponder over.

    And hey, poetry's been an outlet for thousands of years, why stop now, right?

    Good write Aya!

    And go to sleep soon!!
    Three hours is not a lot to run on... no it is not.

    justin
    | Posted on 2007-02-01 00:00:00 | by IamYourTragedy | [ Reply to This ]


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