Finally (I feel...) by EmpathicAya

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Submission Name: Finally (I feel...) dots

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Author:	EmpathicAya
ASL Info:	13+8/unMale/Your Mind
Elite Ratio:	7.31 - 700/456/109
Words:	151

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	1104
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1050

Description:
This is quite literally one of the most horrible things I've ever written, but poetry has always been my outlet. Sorry for unleashing this on you.
~Azura*

Finally (I feel...) dots

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I finally know how
it
feels, that churning...

Submissing to depressing
music that welcome me to
share
in their misery.
And me wanting,
Oh so wanting to go to
escape the churning....

I finally know how
it
feels, that wanting...

Sleeping for years to
linger in
this space of my own, away
from you, and me
wanting to, oh so wanting
to go, and elude the wanting...

I finally know how
it
feels, that needing...

Closing the brain away
from
expressing the
truth of this outcome to
me, and
me wanting to, oh so wanting
to escape the
needing...

And finally, I know how
it feels
realizing...

Waking up, wondering how
the lies
I fed to myself were
formed to get me here,

Here
in your arms,

away from you.

Submitted on 2007-01-31 22:26:24 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
Poetry is my outlet as well, so I can definitely relate to that. I'm not good speaking, but give me a piece of paper and a pen and can tell you everythng I need to.

This poem was nice as well. I enjoy how much emotion you put into your writing. It's not just empty words, but they have a lot of underlying words that aren't being said. I love that.

I might would have liked to see some more imagery in here, some metaphors or something maybe, but that's just for show *snicker* I like the basic quality of this without the extras.

I don't think it's 'horrible' at all. You need to realise that you have talent! So far I haven't read one thing of yours that's been awful like you seem to think it is. Know that what you have to say is important, and as long as it's something you feel and have poured yourself into, it's not going to be 'horrible' or any such thing.

Okay, sorry, didn't mean to start giving you a pep talk :) It's just that I think you're very talented, and don't need to doubt your ability :)

Lovely job, as always!

Cheers and God bless,

~Mandi~
| Posted on 2007-02-17 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]
Heeeey Aya!

I am soooo awful! Just shoot me now. I totally forgot about coming to see you! *dies the death of a thousand deaths*

Will you ever forgive me?...

This has a real lyrical quality about it; I can very easily picture someone singing this. I really like the idea of wanting to escape wanting and needing to escape needing. That reminds me of a song... "so sick of being sick of..." I don't remember what comes next, but that's the important part anyway. I actually found the second to last stanza the most interesting, the just the thought of forming lies to get you somewhere, lies as a vehicle to take you to some place, which in this case, is quite the place; in someone's arms, away from them... hmm... definately something to ponder over.

And hey, poetry's been an outlet for thousands of years, why stop now, right?

Good write Aya!

And go to sleep soon!!
Three hours is not a lot to run on... no it is not.

justin
| Posted on 2007-02-01 00:00:00 | by IamYourTragedy | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.