[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Fallen from Gracedots

    Author: Kimmy
    ASL Info:    18/f/Ar
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 18/32/20
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 870
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1079

       when you keep getting yelled at, when you dont know what you've done wrong..

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFallen from Gracedots

    I do have feelings.
    And they do hurt,
    I'm not to be used like dirt
    Yelling doesnít help, just makes things worse
    Iím about ready to scream and say every curse
    Youíre supposed to be my family!
    But youíre my worst enemy...
    You keep pushing on that envelope
    And here I am, about ready to take the rope
    Canít you see?
    Youíre hurting me
    Every word stings
    Why do you say these things?

    They hurt more than you know
    How could you tell me to go?
    Iím your own daughter,
    Youíre my mother and father
    Iím not perfect, and I make mistakes,
    But couldnít I get some breaks?
    For once, could the screaming stop, just for one day
    Iím just waiting for time to tick to May
    Iíll be out of your hands, and wonít bother you anymore
    I wonít be opening that door

    But Iím standing in the hallway,
    And screaming is all that comes my way
    Tears are streaming down my face
    Look how Iíve fallen from graceÖ

    Submitted on 2007-01-31 23:48:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was written very well, the only thing I didn't like was thge flow, the lines through it off quite a bit. Other than that it was great. It reminds me of how my parents used to be, but I held in there, sattham down talked to them, adn straightened everything out. Maybe that;s what you should do. Awesome write. Keep up the good work, and I'll keep reading.

    Saint Razor
    | Posted on 2007-02-01 00:00:00 | by brknprlcndol | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    prison written by ShyOne
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Cover written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Etiquette written by saartha
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]