Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Backstaberdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bleeding_sin
    ASL Info:    16/F/OR
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 54/68/57
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 655
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 701



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBackstaberdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hate
    Is something I have never really felt before
    Talking about you
    Never intered my mind
    Wanting to hurt you is something I'd never do
    Why?
    What did I do?
    Been a good friend
    That is such a bad thing
    Well you know what shut then
    Never really hurt you
    Said you where god
    And now you do this to me
    Your such a backstaberTo the one who will no would have been there for you
    Always
    Well you know what backstaber
    Go and leave me
    I don't need you
    Just no more protction from my mouth will be spilt
    Not no more.

    By Kelsey Saathoff
    1/31/07




    Submitted on 2007-02-01 15:42:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think this has a lot of raw emotion to it, but I do not think that the writing was all that great. There are a lot of grammatical errors, and some of the wording could have been better. I think that you do have something here though. This is a subject that is very relatable. If you go back and fix all the grammatical stuff and add in some word painting I think this could be very good. Expand on the original, and get more in touch with the feelings that made you write this in the first place. Good luck.
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2007-02-02 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    133720

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by Chelebel
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    This written by Chelebel
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry