Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Backstaberdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bleeding_sin
    ASL Info:    16/F/OR
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 54/68/57
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 604
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 701



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBackstaberdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hate
    Is something I have never really felt before
    Talking about you
    Never intered my mind
    Wanting to hurt you is something I'd never do
    Why?
    What did I do?
    Been a good friend
    That is such a bad thing
    Well you know what shut then
    Never really hurt you
    Said you where god
    And now you do this to me
    Your such a backstaberTo the one who will no would have been there for you
    Always
    Well you know what backstaber
    Go and leave me
    I don't need you
    Just no more protction from my mouth will be spilt
    Not no more.

    By Kelsey Saathoff
    1/31/07




    Submitted on 2007-02-01 15:42:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think this has a lot of raw emotion to it, but I do not think that the writing was all that great. There are a lot of grammatical errors, and some of the wording could have been better. I think that you do have something here though. This is a subject that is very relatable. If you go back and fix all the grammatical stuff and add in some word painting I think this could be very good. Expand on the original, and get more in touch with the feelings that made you write this in the first place. Good luck.
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2007-02-02 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    133720

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Carry written by saartha
    AI written by poetotoe
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Summer written by layDsayD
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry