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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Backstaberdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bleeding_sin
    ASL Info:    16/F/OR
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 54/68/57
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 635
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 701



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBackstaberdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hate
    Is something I have never really felt before
    Talking about you
    Never intered my mind
    Wanting to hurt you is something I'd never do
    Why?
    What did I do?
    Been a good friend
    That is such a bad thing
    Well you know what shut then
    Never really hurt you
    Said you where god
    And now you do this to me
    Your such a backstaberTo the one who will no would have been there for you
    Always
    Well you know what backstaber
    Go and leave me
    I don't need you
    Just no more protction from my mouth will be spilt
    Not no more.

    By Kelsey Saathoff
    1/31/07




    Submitted on 2007-02-01 15:42:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think this has a lot of raw emotion to it, but I do not think that the writing was all that great. There are a lot of grammatical errors, and some of the wording could have been better. I think that you do have something here though. This is a subject that is very relatable. If you go back and fix all the grammatical stuff and add in some word painting I think this could be very good. Expand on the original, and get more in touch with the feelings that made you write this in the first place. Good luck.
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2007-02-02 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]


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