Description: Ohk So I Had A Fight With My Bf And This Is What I Managed To Write At Like 4am I Know I Can Be Improved But How?
My Apology -------------------------------------------
Llife Just Isnt Easy Its Just Not Meant To Be
The Perfect Fairytale Ending I Was Expecting To See
But The Mistakes Ive Made Have Ruined Us
And For That Im Truly Sorry
I May Not Be An Angel No Matter What You Think
But I Am A Young Girl Prepared To Tell You This
I Love You More Then Words Could Say
More Then I Can Ever Show
So Please Forgive My Appology Its Not The Best I Know
But Its Written From Deep In my Heart A Place You Do Not Know
So THis Is All I Have TO Say
I Will Just End It Here
With Just These Simple Little Words
I Love You Its Sincere
Words of sincerity
to try and remedy
the storm that left us: broken and insecure
Not an angel, as you thought
but a real life story
of a person with a big heart,
and a ruined fairy tale.
So let me end this here and say
"I'm sorry and love you and am her to stay"
Not sure if this is what you wanted to say but this is what could be salvaged from those lines in the top part, try to look at what you want to say, when you want to say how you want to say, the words you used is good, the thought behind and the idea good as well. But the thought in the poem jumped around, and needed to be sorted, other than that, you have talent, try and focus and keep your eye on the ball or thought. Try and read other peoples work and see what they do, and try and get behind the thought of each line.
must of did something preatty bad huh besides that sounds real comes from the heart thought id read an girls poem or write havent been on here for awhile so if i do post one would be kool if u can comment on mine havent been writting poetry for awhile so hope all is good for u and have better days, tyson
The unnesessary capital letters take away from the way the poem is suppose to be read. They are distracting. You could have arranged your stanzas differently. It's a bit hard to understand because you have more than one thought in a line. That would be fine, but you don't have any punctuation to seperate the thoughts. Other than that I thought it was 'okay'. It's not your best, but it's not that bad either.