I read this and your "half-life" poem, I have to admit i'm not convinced i've understood the message of the other poem, whether the hell is real or imagined, or whether there is a message at all or just you having fun with your fans.
anyway, for what it's worth i liked this poem better, we can all relate to the frustration of aging, i have to say i don't like the addition of "a pool of sleep" part...probably its the pool word i'm against. maybe you could suggest the envelopment by sleep in another way?
anyway, good to see you're still writing, even if others have long since ceased to find inspiration.
I can't help but feel that there is a stanza that has been left out somewhere between these three. It left me feeling jarred as it seems to want for the same sort of transition that you have given throughout the rest of the poem. Did you switch the second stanza up to its current possition? Otherwise I love how this piece screams out the sometimes sureal nature of aging. Life's a nasty process in some ways, but in many ways the old adage is true. You're only as old as you think you are.
How absolutely deafening with sound. The feeling of ceasing existence...or some what of a stuggle there for.
I felt stifled and some what smothered. Suffocated with pressure of unkempt obstacles and discarded remnants of the worlds weight.
It made me sad...to have so much and feel so yet an overwhelming urge digging at what's left making it harder and harder to be at peace.
Life is to be lived to the fullest...and yes easier said then done...but I think this is a great reflection piece and made me want to take a walk in the cold brisk winter chilled air, singing and skipping only to stop and make snow balls along the way...because life is too short to stop unless it's to smell the flowers :}
I enjoyed this one and I know I'm probably wayyyy off in the accuracy of my definition...but
mahhh..what can one do...that is what I felt and as long as poetry is reaching out and touching ones heart or soul in one way or another...it's all GOOD ; )