Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Icy Waterdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DeathTone
    ASL Info:    32 / Male / United States
    Elite Ratio:    5.54 - 81/55/30
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 823
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 806



    Description:
       Hey i dont know what i was thinking when i wrote this. but i hope it is enjoyed and the meaning that i wanted to get out, actually gets out.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIcy Waterdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I close my eyes when I get scared
    And run away from what I see
    It makes me curl up into a ball and cry
    Each time I look in the mirror and see me

    I never understood how I made it this far
    Because life has been hard take in
    So I stare at my self and scream
    As the image I see looks back and grins

    Itís hard to deal with this kind of stress
    When you know you canít succeed
    The touchier keeps the pain consistently flowing
    While being scared only feeds the need

    When it took hold of me I tried to fight
    Itsí strength was too powerful for me to contain
    I was numb like being tossed in Icy Waters learning how to swim
    So I grabbed the coldness by the handle to relive my pain




    Submitted on 2007-02-02 12:59:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      well, first, its nicely written. a lot of feeling went into this. its all fear and confusion, or perhaps frustration, and i can relate to that at the moment.
    one thing confused me...
    'The touchier keeps the pain consistently flowing'
    i didnt understand this line, perhaps i'm just being dense, but i couldn't make sense of it.

    'So I stare at my self and scream
    As the image I see looks back and grins'
    these lines are excellent, i feel like this a lot. this piece is so fitting to me personally at the moment. i hope you have conquered whatever it was that inspired this piece.
    guess we have to stand up and face our fears, no good hiding...they always find us.
    i enjoyed this piece. you are very deep, and should keep expressing your feelings this way.
    michelle
    | Posted on 2007-02-03 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    133785

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Instances written by hyproglo
    Legends written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Some of it written by Daniel Barlow
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Everyone written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry