Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Icy Waterdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DeathTone
    ASL Info:    32 / Male / United States
    Elite Ratio:    5.55 - 81/55/29
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 724
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 806



    Description:
       Hey i dont know what i was thinking when i wrote this. but i hope it is enjoyed and the meaning that i wanted to get out, actually gets out.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIcy Waterdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I close my eyes when I get scared
    And run away from what I see
    It makes me curl up into a ball and cry
    Each time I look in the mirror and see me

    I never understood how I made it this far
    Because life has been hard take in
    So I stare at my self and scream
    As the image I see looks back and grins

    Itís hard to deal with this kind of stress
    When you know you canít succeed
    The touchier keeps the pain consistently flowing
    While being scared only feeds the need

    When it took hold of me I tried to fight
    Itsí strength was too powerful for me to contain
    I was numb like being tossed in Icy Waters learning how to swim
    So I grabbed the coldness by the handle to relive my pain




    Submitted on 2007-02-02 12:59:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      well, first, its nicely written. a lot of feeling went into this. its all fear and confusion, or perhaps frustration, and i can relate to that at the moment.
    one thing confused me...
    'The touchier keeps the pain consistently flowing'
    i didnt understand this line, perhaps i'm just being dense, but i couldn't make sense of it.

    'So I stare at my self and scream
    As the image I see looks back and grins'
    these lines are excellent, i feel like this a lot. this piece is so fitting to me personally at the moment. i hope you have conquered whatever it was that inspired this piece.
    guess we have to stand up and face our fears, no good hiding...they always find us.
    i enjoyed this piece. you are very deep, and should keep expressing your feelings this way.
    michelle
    | Posted on 2007-02-03 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    133785

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    untitled written by Outlaw
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    In a Corner written by jeniecel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry