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    dots Submission Name: Caressing Icedots

    Author: Non-Sens-Uality
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 67/80/53
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 952
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 526


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    dotsCaressing Icedots

    So white the thought that does implode
    Again in memories of you.
    Illusions, images, explode
    Upon an ice castle in blue...

    The wings of darkness through the air
    Belong to a dear voice.
    A night so deep in demons lair,
    I never had a choice...

    And oh so thin reality
    Resting upon my eyes -
    I longed for sensuality
    And the sweet taste of lies...

    Damned to return - eternity
    Is waiting in my home of... ice.

    Submitted on 2007-02-02 13:04:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is incredible!
    I will forever love you're style of writing and how much talent you have to rhyme!
    every single line is so creative and beautiful.
    just mentioning the ice made me feel cold.

    The wings of darkness through the air

    i've heard something like that before but i still love it.
    you do an amazing job writing.
    good work.

    | Posted on 2007-03-05 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
      Again, this fits my condition as it is. I can find a lot in these lines you wrote with such attention to details and an emotional undertone. I find this contrast dark-light, cold-warm to be the most successful idea to evolve through any poem. Somehow the thematic structure never grows old and it still remains original if written with proper care and imagination. Really, a praise is in order.
    | Posted on 2007-02-15 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      I adore the way you bring ice in the end. The rhythm is perfect here.

    "And oh so thin reality
    Resting upon my eyes -
    I longed for sensuality"

    Also very good. I think the last sentence in that stanza is a little bit off rhythmically, but I like those lines.

    Nonsensical remarks? Hmm... I will have to get back to you on that.
    | Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by awastedsky | [ Reply to This ]
      I felt like first snow after reading this. You really did make me feel very cold and alone with this piece and that much feeling hasn't happened to me in some time. The imagery is very strong, the rhyme is excellent in helping it along (hey that rhymes!).
    I can't pick a favourite stanza or line, I like them all, so this has to be declared a favourite.
    I can't wait to read more of your work.
    | Posted on 2007-02-03 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]

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