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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Warrior's Victorydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ParanoidParadox
    ASL Info:    17/m/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 85/76/31
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 170
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 672



    Description:
       Been awhile since I wrote. A rush of inspiration created this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Warrior's Victorydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Bathed in light, screaming to the skies
    Perfect in his flaws, standing there
    Every laugh, every tear led to this
    Solace as wind blows through his hair

    His purpose known, his path chosen
    The top of the mountain discovered
    Snow cascading down from the clouds
    Led by the cries of his brothers

    A torrent of battles overcome
    The scars remain on his face
    His sword shattered, his shield broken
    He rose like the sun above disgrace

    A nation of enemies lie slain
    The only one left alive
    Brother and foe alike have perished
    This is the end of his strife




    Submitted on 2007-02-02 21:12:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I am not entirely sure as to your intention with this poem. First you start off with imagery of nature, then a battle, then coming home. Would this by any chance be a happy ending sort of work?
    I like this stanza :
    A torrent of battles overcome
    The scars remain on his face
    His sword shattered, his shield broken
    He rose like the sun above disgrace

    I personally feel it's very well done and produces a spectacular effect. However, combined with the rest of the piece, it seems somewhat out of place.
    Good write nonetheless, I enjoyed the rhyme.
    Cheers
    Azuire
    | Posted on 2007-02-03 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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