Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mixed feelings and mixed cold desiresdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DAlin
    Elite Ratio:    2.12 - 82/137/75
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 912
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 598



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMixed feelings and mixed cold desiresdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Living in this crazy times
    When thoughts are mixed with closer feelings,
    I don`t need one, or two more lines
    Because you need too much...and earrings.

    I feel for you...it`s wrong, I know
    Mixed feelings and mixed cold desires,
    You sometimes cry...and let it show
    Let all my sorrows burn in fires.

    I do not feel an emptiness
    I do not feel alone, no more
    I do not hide my loneliness
    * Nu esti aici...si-mi este dor. - Romanian Line


    * You are not here...and I miss you...dear.




    Submitted on 2007-02-03 11:57:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love how you tied the romanian line into the end. I am caught between thinking the earrings line sounds forced, and that it ads something unique and funky to the poem, taking it away from a cliché. I think I will go with the latter :)
    | Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by awastedsky | [ Reply to This ]
      cool
    | Posted on 2007-02-03 00:00:00 | by DonkeyMan | [ Reply to This ]
      realy helped my day i was looking for some insiration, thank you...long day(for me)
    | Posted on 2007-02-03 00:00:00 | by Mr.Ordinary | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    133862

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry