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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Leave Me Bedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Draigon
    ASL Info:    25/m/Al
    Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 164/196/91
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 751
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 610



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLeave Me Bedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Don't bother with me,
    just leave me be
    Love me no more
    just throw me out the door

    No longer loved
    No longer cared for
    Life filled with misery and gore
    I'm gone forever more

    Death caresses me
    never needed to breath
    The pain is to much
    just leave me be

    I've caused you a lot of pain
    My blood fell on you and left a stain
    Wipe it all away
    I'll never be with you anyway

    You never could see
    The love I had for you
    So just leave me be....




    Submitted on 2007-02-04 00:48:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Okay, I have a few things I would like to say about this poem. I thought it was to sing-songy, but other than that it was great. It was a little depressing, but it was very deep.
    -AnGeL
    | Posted on 2007-03-09 00:00:00 | by bubble_popper15 | [ Reply to This ]
      This makes me wonder. It really isn't like you to come out and speak the obvious without making the reader thoughly examine some aspect of life. If you are expireiencing this currently, I offer my appolgies and my prayers.

    ~orange
    | Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
      This makes me wonder. It really isn't like you to come out and speak the obvious without making the reader thoughly examine some aspect of life. If you are expireiencing this currently, I offer my appolgies and my prayers.

    ~orange
    | Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
       I like this poem in the sense that it provides the reader with a realistic sensation of the pain of heartbreak. I offer you props, but at the same time I sympathize if this is something you're feeling right now.
    I do, however, have just a few critiquing to do. In the fourth line, do you mean "throw" instead of "through"? Also, the rhyming scheme seems to jump around quite a lot. I do a lot of rhyming myself, so I know it isn't always easy to make it flow and seem natural, but sometimes the small fluctuations in the rhyming scheme can mess up the whole poem.
    That's all of the nitpicking I'm going to do, so I wish you luck and God bless you!
    | Posted on 2007-02-04 00:00:00 | by black_beauty18 | [ Reply to This ]


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