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    dots Submission Name: alone.dots

    Author: narcolepsy
    ASL Info:    19/F/Pa
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 129/135/60
    Words: 25
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1024
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 202

       metaphor poem that i wrote for creative writing.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    a petrified angel
    her arms outstretched
    and head tilted skyward
    guarding boxes of bones
    buried under holy dirt
    dry and fossiling--
    this is alone.

    Submitted on 2007-02-05 06:43:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      sad, haunting, vivid.

    i see a scorched earth all around, graveyards littering the only thing left of the ground. but this solitary angel, cracked and withering away in the harsh winds, with your words etched in the stone just below.

    i admire that you can provide an insane amount of detail out of a poem that only has about 8 lines.
    | Posted on 2007-03-19 00:00:00 | by lark | [ Reply to This ]
      Consider revising: maybe the ending: you know the rule (not that there are rules in art- which is probably why we like it so much).

    Praises: the purpose of this poem is to paint a picture. you are doing what i think of as a poetic exercise. and it works here. i like the analogy of the angel as being a guardian of the bones.

    Overall: (B) because, once again, you hit the target. the poem serves its purpose and paints for me a solid image and gives personality to an innanimate object. good job for what i think you were intending to do.
    | Posted on 2007-02-22 00:00:00 | by tjsmith5 | [ Reply to This ]
    a petrified angel
    her arms outstretched
    and head tilted skyward
    guarding boxes of bones
    buried under holy dirt
    dry and fossiling--
    this is alone."

    Yes, I'd have to agree this is what alone means. Really dont know what else to say. I thinks its good. Have a nice day.
    | Posted on 2007-02-05 00:00:00 | by TammyAnnBruton | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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