alone--
a petrified angel
her arms outstretched
and head tilted skyward
guarding boxes of bones
buried under holy dirt
dry and fossiling--
this is alone.
i see a scorched earth all around, graveyards littering the only thing left of the ground. but this solitary angel, cracked and withering away in the harsh winds, with your words etched in the stone just below.
i admire that you can provide an insane amount of detail out of a poem that only has about 8 lines.
Consider revising: maybe the ending: you know the rule (not that there are rules in art- which is probably why we like it so much).
Praises: the purpose of this poem is to paint a picture. you are doing what i think of as a poetic exercise. and it works here. i like the analogy of the angel as being a guardian of the bones.
Overall: (B) because, once again, you hit the target. the poem serves its purpose and paints for me a solid image and gives personality to an innanimate object. good job for what i think you were intending to do.
"Alone--
a petrified angel
her arms outstretched
and head tilted skyward
guarding boxes of bones
buried under holy dirt
dry and fossiling--
this is alone."
Yes, I'd have to agree this is what alone means. Really dont know what else to say. I thinks its good. Have a nice day.
Submission Name: alone.
