Description: this piece was called "in between" until i noticed no one was reading the mother fucker so i changed it .
just tell me what you think. and be honest. :)
JUST READ IT -------------------------------------------
take.
take me to the place where your heart lies.
take me between the day and night...
between that place where dreams come to life
and take wings to soar across your minds eye.
confess to me your desires.
tell me what my soul pines to hear.
reach out and take my hand.
take me.
lead me to that place between my fears and my doubts and plant my lifes blood anew.
speak to me of the good still left of me.
speak to me of you.
sew at our spirits 'til they become one.
when we get so high
and don't stop at the sun.
for you breathe life unto me.
without you,
i would be dying.
without you,
i would be nothing.
you give what little soul i have left peace.
you give me meaning.
so, take me while there's still something left of me.
before the darkness consumes the rest of my being.....
..............go on and take..
take me.
*Warning this review was written while under the inlfuence of MArYJuaNa*
Wow, you got skill. You're not just some freaky smartass(that's a compliment). I like this alot. It made me feel something(no! not like that!). It's touching, sweet really. But, you could make it better, to be honest. One, seperate it somewhat; also when you do that not only does it make for a smoother read, but(and this is the other thing)you don't need nearly as many periods. And you've no capitalization, whether or not that's intentional, I've no idea, but capitalizing something signifies added importance, which might help with "take". I like this alot, peace love, and all that good bullshyt
I am floored after reading this. I had to read it twice. So much in so little space.
I see you have lived life to it's fullest and now know what you want. Very moving. The passion is evident from the first line and carries through to the last.
It desperately needs a title. Although nothing comes to mind that would give it the power it portrays on it's own. The only thing that comes to mind is something like "Open Arms", but that just sounds pathetic after reading this masterpiece.
Much love,
Keith
i love this poem erica is right you could get it published
search the internet for some lit mags you never know what might turn up
i know iv worn this out but all you need is patience
Woah....... Im practically speachless but i can say a few words. Im over powered by the decption of the work of masterpeice. If you keep this up, you could def. publish. i love it.
passion heartfelt words of the soul reaching out
like almost i can really relate to you and how u feel i feel the same you too also have a way with words keep that flow of postive energy and always remember in the end all u really have is your self, because for me everybody i know turned there back on me my family could never believe that my own family would be like that its really dissapointing for me so remember all u really have is your self and the one you really love trust me i know, also thanks for the comment really enjoyed and appreciate it means alot to me at this point in time
me speaking out to you from an lost soul searching for what is right, hope your days are better then mine, tyson
Submission Name: JUST READ IT
