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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hottest months of the year.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Thinkingofyou
    ASL Info:    18/f/The sunny state
    Elite Ratio:    2.83 - 283/423/132
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Dark
    Total Views: 956
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 999



    Description:
       Its a song, I wrote because I was freezing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHottest months of the year.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    So quiet sitting in the back of the class.
    A winter coat in June.
    Now please someone ask her what the hell is up with that?
    Shaky eyes and tempting hands.
    Pencil lead breaks under her breath.
    A wool scarf in July.
    Someone please ask her what the fuck is up with that?
    Old dirty shoes making noise so softly.
    Leaving foot prints under her desk.
    Thick knitted gloves in August.
    Would someone please question her as to what is up with that?
    Hypothyroidism, a condition not very rare.
    Always bone cold, even in the muggiest of air.
    No one questioned so no one knew.
    Gym class came, and the little girl blew.
    Now she got to sit and watch, fucking dirty baby girl.
    Didn't want to let anyone into her private world.
    And there she would sit so quiet and solemn.
    Everybody wondered, but nobody bothered.
    Underneath her thermal clothing, a blood disease so rare.




    Submitted on 2007-02-05 23:26:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This paints an absolutely vivid picture of this girl.

    I love how ever so often you included a variation of this line: Someone please ask her what the [censored] is up with that?

    It lends an air of reality to it...because people would be questioning this.

    I think it's awesome...and an interesting subject to take on...
    | Posted on 2007-09-22 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was incredibly good. It was painfully honest and open. The only thing I feel somewhat subtracted from it was the actual mention of what the problem was. I think if it was taken out (the actual mention of the blood disease and it's name) it would leave more mystery and uniqueness to it.
    | Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]
      hey hi i think you discribed a very dark personality here
    with all the words combined i see this person as you say sitting by themself with no one noticing
    you can carry this on but it kind of leaves the reader filling in the pieces

    great write and enjoyable read

    sandman
    | Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      this entire piece was amazing and was very strong but you really didn't know how to end it.
    what i really like about this piece is although you say that it's lyrics, it can be read as a poem, too.
    the description was perfect and would never think of something like this for some reason.
    i strongly suggest you work on the ending because i like this a lot.
    Peace<3

    <bleedingtears>
    | Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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