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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Poison Kissdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Shadia Dark
    ASL Info:    17/F/California dreamin..
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 186/177/98
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 582
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 814



    Description:
       i was listening to techno, thinking about drugs and sex and such... i was day dreaming a rave and this is what came out. you gota read it slow, so take your time and enjoy!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPoison Kissdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i wanna spend forever
    just discover every inch of you
    one moment at a time
    you know i need this
    im so high i cant come down

    never satisfied
    i'll take all you have to give
    there's no looking back
    no turning back

    join me in the Garden of Eden
    you know it's the best bliss
    one shot of this TechnoAcidElixer

    drift deeper into the sounds
    watch the colors that surround you
    with eyes that cannot see

    take me
    breathe me
    taste me
    as the rush comes
    i wanna feel it washing over me

    chase faded days away
    with moments you cant deny
    you cant resist this

    it started off with just one
    Poison Kiss.




    Submitted on 2007-02-06 08:19:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this, but I admit I may have missed some things as I was laughing half-way through it. You mispelled satisfied, and have it in here as "satisfried" and it really cracked me up. You may want to change that :)

    But apart from that, I liked the emotion in this work, and I think you really conveyed your emotions to the reader well. All in all, I really enjoyed it!

    Cheers!

    ~Mandi~
    | Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, well I think I'm gonna read more of your work, very good, descriptive, and the way the poem moves is incredible.

    It's got a good start and you kept the rhythm going, with an a great end, uniting the end with the title, well done.

    Kind regards
    E
    | Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by bornx2000 | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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