It has all become too real now
Too real to hold
And too sick to care
Your soul I can now see clearly
Your eyes are fake now
Lips that speak only lies
A heart unfaithful
your spirit's song like siren's calls
grabs hold
my given heart
bringing it its' own death
on a now blood spilled platter
I write you love letters in darkness
with my own blood
Praying that the ache of my open veins will take away from the longing of my abandoned heart
And when I can no longer move my torn limbs
The secrets will be revealed;
Your outer shell will shatter with the remains of my soul;
During the while, truth cuts me like a fang shaped dagger
I just lay here on the blood staind floor
My tears seeping through
the crack of eternity's door
carnations descending from a lover's grasp
amore no more
is all i ask
Just a walking corpse now
Death is my only prayer
when did it come to
The tears come and my wrist again i slit
Everyone has turned their back on me
Even the night
I see couples dancing by a moonlit lake
and my heart burns from the ache
Though walking I am empty inside
My soul no longer resides
Within this human shell
And every time i want to look back
Everytime i want to hope
I'll remember fang shaped dagger
Men are really nice til you bang them a few times. Then the ugly parts of their personality come blasting out like watery $hit and whether or not you can endure them, or they can endure your reaction, determines the sucess of the relationship. And once its decided (never mutally) that you should break, its all down scum creek from there.
I thought there were too many dramatic references to blood and death in this one. I've never been one to sucessfully equate heart break with destruction and decay...even though those pangs in your heart become something insufferable at times. I just can't look at myself as some walking corpse after a woman trashes my heart. I've always felt that self pity is meant for poetry however and if these are the kinds of things that run through your mind when your feeling down...I'm not gonna be the one to tell you that its trite or that you are over reacting. Because our feelings are beyond our control, and our personal interpretations of our feelings are as worthless as the fockers that cause it.
This write made me smile...as sick as that sounds. I've been there. But I've always moved on without wacking myself (well...you know what i mean.) Nice write.
holy moly thats has a lot of thought to it very touching deep emtional poetry well written its almost like what you said i could relate too in my past relationship i can tell you have alot more word flow then me this is an good write i like it alot since when your page doesent tell how old you are im guessing your older then me from reading your poetry seems like it please tell me how old you are doesent ruin anything we have for eachother me 19 til april then ill be 20 wooo almost 21 your poem tells alot about you too like you felt or have an broken heart too tells of the pain you feel, sometimes dont you have regret i do but now im following what ever feeling i have left kind of lost of who iam searching for my self everyday
once again thank you for reading my poems and giving beautyful comments means alot to me most people i know dont repect poetry i do its not like anybody can be an poet you have to feel loss regret broken heart lonelyness emptyness afraid to me i feel all emtions hey an plus thank you for putting my poems on your favs score for you, yeah you have my permission to make that write an song see what you come up with and for sure we will make an song right go for it shoot for the stars
so i hope your happy with my comment
yours truely tyson
WoW.... Grace.. I'd have to say , you've really out done yourself. Dont think everyone has turn there backs on you, i havent... I love you girl and i think i know who this is about. Does his name start with a J. Kick his ass to the curb girl, its for your own good. I cant stand seeing you depressed like this. I love you.
and again wow, so much emotion... i love it...
its going on my favorites....
wow... I realy love this poem... I am actually speachless at the momment.. that almost never happens when I read someones writting I usualy have alot to say about it but yours is just.... realy good.. I cant find any flaws.. Well I saw that you had read one of mine and commented me so I am reading what I can (i'm in class
candy
wow...this is really cool.it sounds brutal, what with all the explicit, concise imagery...but it is very good.it is so clear and i can really imagine myself seeing someone in blood and being laughed at cruelly!i love the last stanza.
and the poem's got lots of powerful emotions!i love your work.keep it up!
Wow, lots of emotion in there! I really liked this, though it maybe got a little repetitive in a few places... I kind of started feeling like I had read certain things already, but over all, I really liked it. It's a cliché topic, but you managed to make it your own, and I liked the fang shaped dagger, that's a nice touch. It was easy to read, and easy to understand the emotion and the meanings of your words, so I thoroughly enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing!
Oh, one thing I did notice. Moon lit is one word, so it's moonlit :D
Submission Name: Fang Shaped Dagger
