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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Self-Created Miserydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Katana Ryoko
    ASL Info:    17/F/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.86 - 483/428/109
    Words: 37
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 795
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 260



    Description:
       I know it's short and I did want to make it longer, but I'm not sure if that would take away from it or not. I haven't written anything good in a while. I don't even think this is as good as when I first started writing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSelf-Created Miserydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wash away the doubts
    Hidden within my thoughts
    Keep away the demons
    Haunting my soul to hell
    Make my heart stop beating
    Don't want my lungs to breathe
    I'm living in this disaster
    A self- created misery




    Submitted on 2007-02-06 12:42:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      This subject is kind of cliché, but I think you did well on it.

    I think we have all been through problems before, some people's worse than others. I wouldn't say it was always self-created either....
    I don't much else to say about this peice.

    Nice work, oh and good title for it, it caught my eye. Anyway, continue your writing.

    Sincerely,
    Draigon
    | Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]
      This subject is kind of cliché, but I think you did well on it.

    I think we have all been through problems before, some people's worse than others. I wouldn't say it was always self-created either....
    I don't much else to say about this peice.

    Nice work, oh and good title for it, it caught my eye. Anyway, continue your writing.

    Sincerely,
    Draigon
    | Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]
      Perhaps longer would be best, but first you might could think of a little editing in what's there. E-mail me, maybe we'll work on it together--unless you forgot my address, in which case let me know with a PM or something.

    --crimson echo
    | Posted on 2007-02-15 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      Cliche subject, obviously, but I found I liked the poem regardless. I think you could probably go far with rhyming in this one... there was a little bit of a rhyme with breathe and misery, *a little bit*. The rhythm in this poem was also pretty well-composed.
    | Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by awastedsky | [ Reply to This ]
      Now this one I like better then your last one was going to write how I didn't like your last poem but decided to give ya another try and you did good I like this one keep up the good work like this peace & stay safe...
    | Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]


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