Shadows grow darker.
The sun forgot him,
Locked out of the light
Fleeing the monsters
Screaming prayers that fall upon deaf ears.
There are no stars in his world,
No glimmer in his eyes.
His soul has faded, and
His heart is constantly disipating
With no drug to ease the pain.
Who can save him?
Where's your god?
Someone stole away his light
He feels hell pulling him under.
I've read a few of your works but I wanted to leave you a comment on this one, because i think it's one of the best I seen on your page.
I like it that this poem is short yet brings across a powerful message.. And I think that's because you used the bigger forces of nature to emphasize that. The Sun with shadows and light, hell, and you are talking about a god you do not seem to feel. I get that.
The message is clear. You feel lost and left.
my suggestion for you is that.. maybe you could have added just a bit more, using more nature to emphasise, like the moon or something.