Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

As the school bell rang...


Author: Black-Death
Elite Ratio:    1.18 - 18 /90 /139
Words: 63
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 999
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 438



Description:




As the school bell rang...




As the school bell rang...
As the blood driped from my face...
Mixed with tears...
as i looked up...
All i could hear... is hes not breathing...
i saw there face... pail....
i could see the tears fall... Crashing down...
i could feel the emptyness falling around me...
Blackness starting to over come...
Wrap me...
Giving me warmpth...
As i lay here....




Submitted on 2007-02-08 01:02:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Yes i loved your poem. its like a school killing right. ah i know the feeling many a time have i wanted to just kill them all. But life goes on and eventually gets better. at least thats what i have to tell myself to sleep at night. LOL. Anyways nice sentence structure. Great poem keep up the good work.


Toodles.
| Posted on 2007-02-08 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



134253