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Fallen in the Gravel Pit

Author: Reckoner
Elite Ratio:    5.04 - 122 /164 /128
Words: 72
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1063
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 437


wrote this right before going to sleep, last night

Fallen in the Gravel Pit

She spoke the words that I had said before

gravel pit
ankle slip

she dug up stone then slept on top of me

gravel pit
body deep

she cleaned up her mistakes, hated to see them heard

gravel pit
your breath I keep

she built up the sand that few hands can

gravel pit
lost and weary I sleep

Submitted on 2007-02-08 12:36:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  talk to you soon? I think not amber. [censored]. and this is amazing. i LOVE the repitition....and i know you will go over it with me. oh and bJork....just thought id say that. just for you. talk soon...really though.
| Posted on 2007-02-08 00:00:00 | by angelfyre | [ Reply to This ]
  what a heavy feeling this piece had to it.... but i enjoyed reading it, the repition of the gravel pit was almost a little much but i think it also gace character to the piece. My favorite line was "she cleaned up her mistakes, hated to see them heard because i can relate with that part of this poem. overall a pretty good write and i hope to see more from you. talk to you soon

| Posted on 2007-02-08 00:00:00 | by amber_in_wyomin | [ Reply to This ]

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