This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

  Off

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password
Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Chaser


Author: Fraser
ASL Info:    26
Elite Ratio:    2.43 - 30 /55 /35
Words: 132
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 968
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 758



Description:



Chaser


I heard a song bird sing
he sang and sang your very name
he told me who and what you are
he shocked with details of where you were

i think i know you shape and form
the church bell rings the tune and twang
i picture you running through a country field
you smell the rose and shout my being

you stalk me though around every corner
the quiet cafe or the bench in the park
and of course the busy streets after dark
you chase and chase without delay

my god i say stay away from me
i'll lose my soul in the pleasures that be
i long for you but stop myself short
chase me though because that is the start






Submitted on 2007-02-08 15:48:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  i agree about the puncuation. otherwise i like the little journey the poem takes you on. deeper meaning behind it is a cool bonus. woo
| Posted on 2007-02-08 00:00:00 | by lark | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this poem... I think we've all felt this way. It's like we're drawn to something that is no good, but we can't seem to keep ourselves away. The only suggestion I have is to maybe incorporate some punctuation into the poem to help with the structure and flow. God bless!
| Posted on 2007-02-08 00:00:00 | by black_beauty18 | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?		7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



134295

EliteSkills

  Roleplay
  Top News