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    dots Submission Name: Melancholy Rhetoricdots

    Author: andthebandgoes
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 12/16/11
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 499
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 752

       Not so much angry anymore, just sad.

    Still not angst, right?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMelancholy Rhetoricdots


    Concentrate on the cool glass
    Connecting our worlds
    Convenience lay forgotten
    Calling to us, from the life outside of this


    Steely eyes refuse to let go
    Of an image
    Once so near

    In a single moment


    Hours that transcended time
    Only ourselves between us
    Words meaningless
    Creeping into a reality

    That never belongs


    Coyly sneak away instants
    Cautiously, my dear
    Coherence is optional
    Careful, here they come.

    Submitted on 2007-02-08 20:54:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      the point was for it to feel cold and blank, so I'm glad you did. :)
    | Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by andthebandgoes | [ Reply to This ]
      it was clever but it felt blank to me. i dont know if im just in a sensitive mood but i didnt feel anything from this. so in the end i didnt like it mainly because it was like a cold steel rail (excuse that...im listening to pink floyd right now) and i didnt get much out of it despite the excellent wording.
    | Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      Its nice to read a poem with a bit of thought put into it, theres way too much (crappy)angst poetry on this site,I liked this.
    | Posted on 2007-02-12 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not entirely sure I get this one. "Coherence is optional," eh? You've got interesting imagery, but I think there may be a few...punctuation difficulties in here.

    --crimson echo
    | Posted on 2007-02-10 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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