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    dots Submission Name: No reason whydots

    Author: dreamer37517
    ASL Info:    25/F/Bama
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 161/149/49
    Words: 201
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1016
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1277

       Wrote this when I was going through a bad time with commitment. I hurt someone and didnt know what to do, so I just sat and thought about it....and this what came out of it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNo reason whydots

    He hurt me today
    When he didn't say goodbye
    He just walked away
    Without a reason why

    Learning from his lesson
    I crawl through the day
    Remembering what he showed me
    I make my own same way

    My new love comes along
    You treat me all to well
    With love and compassion
    And with this I soon fell

    I dream that it could work
    I hope it keeps on going
    I wish that I would make it
    But my repeat will start showing

    I hurt myself today
    When I didn't say goodbye
    I should have walked away
    But I couldn't think of why

    I'm not a strong person
    I run from all I'm feeling
    I don't know how to love
    I'm just not good with healing

    With my first wave of doubt
    My walls begin to break
    I don't know what to do
    Now that everything's at stake

    I dream that it could work
    I hope it keeps on going
    I wish that I would make it
    But my repeat will start showing

    I hurt you today
    When I tried to say goodbye
    I just walked away
    And I wouldn't tell you why

    Submitted on 2007-02-09 01:13:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      um ash... if you would... will you pm me and explain this one... then WE can say goodbye if you like.


    P.S. you are REALLY good at this poetry thing... damn, I wish I still had it like you do.
    | Posted on 2007-05-10 00:00:00 | by psyko | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate completely, i loved the piece, very emotional.

    good job.

    | Posted on 2007-02-12 00:00:00 | by -amberina | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful piece, I really like it. I always appreciate personal works because of the emotions you can feel through the words which you showed clearly through yours.

    I like how you showed that you did the same mistakes that others did to you, although I'm not sure that this the proper word here since this is a personal experience.

    In any case I hope you get through and learn from all the mistakes that have been done.

    By the way, I got a poem called "Why?' too, I hope you get to read it and tell me what you think, although the subject is a bit different but it is also from personal experience.

    take care,

    | Posted on 2007-02-11 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ]
      This is pretty good, and I definitely like it. :D I like how you show yourself repeating your last love's mistake, no matter how hard you try to fight it. Seems like it is a bad pattern that just keeps repeating it self. Good job on that. There was only one sentence that confused me:
    "I run from my all I feel"
    I couldn't really understand the context of this line in connection with the rest of the stanza, or even the poem.
    You also manage to make the poem have a subtle, but still noticable, rhythm, that I as a reader very easily fell into.
    Overall, a very good job.

    Take Care,
    | Posted on 2007-02-09 00:00:00 | by Natalia Petro | [ Reply to This ]

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