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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: No reason whydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dreamer37517
    ASL Info:    25/F/Bama
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 161/149/49
    Words: 201
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 984
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1277



    Description:
       Wrote this when I was going through a bad time with commitment. I hurt someone and didnt know what to do, so I just sat and thought about it....and this what came out of it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNo reason whydots
    -------------------------------------------


    He hurt me today
    When he didn't say goodbye
    He just walked away
    Without a reason why

    Learning from his lesson
    I crawl through the day
    Remembering what he showed me
    I make my own same way

    My new love comes along
    You treat me all to well
    With love and compassion
    And with this I soon fell

    I dream that it could work
    I hope it keeps on going
    I wish that I would make it
    But my repeat will start showing

    I hurt myself today
    When I didn't say goodbye
    I should have walked away
    But I couldn't think of why

    I'm not a strong person
    I run from all I'm feeling
    I don't know how to love
    I'm just not good with healing

    With my first wave of doubt
    My walls begin to break
    I don't know what to do
    Now that everything's at stake

    I dream that it could work
    I hope it keeps on going
    I wish that I would make it
    But my repeat will start showing

    I hurt you today
    When I tried to say goodbye
    I just walked away
    And I wouldn't tell you why




    Submitted on 2007-02-09 01:13:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      um ash... if you would... will you pm me and explain this one... then WE can say goodbye if you like.

    derik

    P.S. you are REALLY good at this poetry thing... damn, I wish I still had it like you do.
    | Posted on 2007-05-10 00:00:00 | by psyko | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate completely, i loved the piece, very emotional.

    good job.

    Amberinaa*
    xoxox.
    | Posted on 2007-02-12 00:00:00 | by -amberina | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful piece, I really like it. I always appreciate personal works because of the emotions you can feel through the words which you showed clearly through yours.

    I like how you showed that you did the same mistakes that others did to you, although I'm not sure that this the proper word here since this is a personal experience.

    In any case I hope you get through and learn from all the mistakes that have been done.

    By the way, I got a poem called "Why?' too, I hope you get to read it and tell me what you think, although the subject is a bit different but it is also from personal experience.

    take care,
    ~Yaser

    | Posted on 2007-02-11 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ]
      This is pretty good, and I definitely like it. :D I like how you show yourself repeating your last love's mistake, no matter how hard you try to fight it. Seems like it is a bad pattern that just keeps repeating it self. Good job on that. There was only one sentence that confused me:
    "I run from my all I feel"
    I couldn't really understand the context of this line in connection with the rest of the stanza, or even the poem.
    You also manage to make the poem have a subtle, but still noticable, rhythm, that I as a reader very easily fell into.
    Overall, a very good job.

    Take Care,
    -Natalia
    | Posted on 2007-02-09 00:00:00 | by Natalia Petro | [ Reply to This ]


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