Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: No reason whydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dreamer37517
    ASL Info:    25/F/Bama
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 161/149/49
    Words: 201
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 952
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1277



    Description:
       Wrote this when I was going through a bad time with commitment. I hurt someone and didnt know what to do, so I just sat and thought about it....and this what came out of it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNo reason whydots
    -------------------------------------------


    He hurt me today
    When he didn't say goodbye
    He just walked away
    Without a reason why

    Learning from his lesson
    I crawl through the day
    Remembering what he showed me
    I make my own same way

    My new love comes along
    You treat me all to well
    With love and compassion
    And with this I soon fell

    I dream that it could work
    I hope it keeps on going
    I wish that I would make it
    But my repeat will start showing

    I hurt myself today
    When I didn't say goodbye
    I should have walked away
    But I couldn't think of why

    I'm not a strong person
    I run from all I'm feeling
    I don't know how to love
    I'm just not good with healing

    With my first wave of doubt
    My walls begin to break
    I don't know what to do
    Now that everything's at stake

    I dream that it could work
    I hope it keeps on going
    I wish that I would make it
    But my repeat will start showing

    I hurt you today
    When I tried to say goodbye
    I just walked away
    And I wouldn't tell you why




    Submitted on 2007-02-09 01:13:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      um ash... if you would... will you pm me and explain this one... then WE can say goodbye if you like.

    derik

    P.S. you are REALLY good at this poetry thing... damn, I wish I still had it like you do.
    | Posted on 2007-05-10 00:00:00 | by psyko | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate completely, i loved the piece, very emotional.

    good job.

    Amberinaa*
    xoxox.
    | Posted on 2007-02-12 00:00:00 | by -amberina | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful piece, I really like it. I always appreciate personal works because of the emotions you can feel through the words which you showed clearly through yours.

    I like how you showed that you did the same mistakes that others did to you, although I'm not sure that this the proper word here since this is a personal experience.

    In any case I hope you get through and learn from all the mistakes that have been done.

    By the way, I got a poem called "Why?' too, I hope you get to read it and tell me what you think, although the subject is a bit different but it is also from personal experience.

    take care,
    ~Yaser

    | Posted on 2007-02-11 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ]
      This is pretty good, and I definitely like it. :D I like how you show yourself repeating your last love's mistake, no matter how hard you try to fight it. Seems like it is a bad pattern that just keeps repeating it self. Good job on that. There was only one sentence that confused me:
    "I run from my all I feel"
    I couldn't really understand the context of this line in connection with the rest of the stanza, or even the poem.
    You also manage to make the poem have a subtle, but still noticable, rhythm, that I as a reader very easily fell into.
    Overall, a very good job.

    Take Care,
    -Natalia
    | Posted on 2007-02-09 00:00:00 | by Natalia Petro | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    134349

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry