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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Death of the Humandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 211
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 597
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1159



    Description:
       I think that I intend to describe hell, entertain myself and all of you possibly.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Death of the Humandots
    -------------------------------------------


    I say to you in one instant the nonbeliever, the blasphemor, fell to his knees. As he fell he deliberately placed his hands on his heart. He held on to everybeat, grasped tightly with his fist as if he could reach into him and keep the heart pumping. Every second that he held onto his pulse he feared it would stop. His knees began trembling as his body lost strength. I say to you within one second, a fraction of a minute, the building block of an hour, his heart did stop. Within these few most dear moments he was capable of a small realization. He was still coherent, kneeling down, lacking the beat of his own heart. He danced with a quick idea that he didn't need his heart, that he could go on and live a normal life without this irreparable organ. The instant the thought ran through, measured by the quickness of human capability to absorb a thought, his body fell in one thump and his life, the human life that gave mobility to his tangible being, dwindled away. His conciousness fell and fell, down into puddles of surface water, eventually percolating down into soil, further still to the core of the world.







    Submitted on 2007-02-09 12:22:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this seemed interesting, a bit more serious and deeply thoughtful...it makes me think about life and death and just how fast its all gone, just how quickly thoughts fade, and a heartbeat ends

    spiffy
    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't care very much for it, sounds a little too much like a sermon for my taste.

    Well written, I suppose, but lacking your usual flair.
    | Posted on 2007-02-13 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      this is very intense, i love it i think its some of the best you have written. i have just onesugestion and you might have ment to do this ...istead of reach into him and keep the heart pumping, maybe reach into himself and keep the heart pumping. Other than that i think its perfect. well done

    AL
    | Posted on 2007-02-09 00:00:00 | by Amanda Lynn | [ Reply to This ]


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