Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: White Hot (Pt II)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkess
    ASL Info:    12/Female/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 30/93/39
    Words: 313
    Class/Type: Story/Passion
    Total Views: 875
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2137



    Description:
       Lol, life is fun.

    It's freezing in my room so my fingers have gone partially numb, resulting in me having to retype most of this story due to grammatical errors. Plus my leg's twitching.

    I've come to the conclusion that I will write anything. (There will be at least one more part after this. It was too short.)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhite Hot (Pt II)dots
    -------------------------------------------


         Their songs would come and go, like unfinished thoughts, like representations of half done sentences, musing of lives, they were barely understood.

         Fourth song, lively and deep and fast paced. One thing Cocoa noticed about the two band members was that they both played guitar and both sang. At seperate times, though. During one song, the blonde boy would be at the microphone, though this was usually for the darker selections, and at the next the wild, rocker girl would be singing. Her voice didn't match her attire. She sang the pop.

         At the moment, actually, Bubblegum was singing, dancing around the stage like a little girl with a hairbrush and a radio turned up loud... An imaginary superstar. But she was real, in all her twists and turns and jumps.

         Cocoa was probably drunk. She wasn't very good at being drunk. Still very aware of what she was doing... But it didn't seem as wrong as it might've, while she stood at the edge of a stage, surrounded by music fanatics.

         Bubblegum wasn't drunk. Not at all. She was completely sober in all her insanity. And fully aware of the fact that she was winking at the girl in the front row. The one with the immaculate makeup and perfect hair.

         There was a part in the song coming up where she had no lyrics and Sugar would take over the vocals for a moment or two. So, seeing her chance, she bent down and kissed the girl's forehead. Pointed to herself, them back to her, to the stage door, and held up two fingers. 'Me, you, outside, two minutes.'

         There were soft, nearly unnoticable gasps flowing from the part of the audience who'd viewed her little display, but Bubblegum didn't care. More publicity, either way.

         The performance would be over soon.




    Submitted on 2007-02-09 18:50:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Cool.
    | Posted on 2007-03-04 00:00:00 | by Orin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    134415

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry